Saturday, July 25, 2009

Why I love truck stops

I fear them, but I also love them. Two photos from our drive back from the beach will illustrate why.

In this first shot, you see the healthy breakfast buffet. For only $4.10 (before tax), you could have a Pork Chop Biscuit with an added fried egg and cheese. I would have been more tempted had it not been still before noon, when food and I rarely get along.

This second photo shows a headline that was definitely an attention grabber for our carload of travelers.

Yes, I understand that the story is not discussing the death of genitalia but rather groins of this type, but for just a moment after first seeing it my mind explored way too many odd possibilities.

Yeah, like yours didn't.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Why I now weigh 3,786.25 pounds

It's indulgences like this one, I tell you with few regrets. What you see here was my second dessert course of the day, some delicious Jeni's ice cream on the left, and some of Bob's (local restaurant owner, chef, and friend) Death By Chocolate cake on the right. Oh, yeah: I added a little calorie-neutralizing whipped cream.

I expect that a year of dieting might restore my shape to something vaguely humanoid, but I'm no longer even certain of that. We'll find out.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Not just for trivial issues

I've heard from a few folks that my posts are giving the impression that while here at the beach we discuss only trivial issues. That is simply not so! We frequently spend large amounts of time in the hot tub or the pool going back and forth with great emotion on such weighty topics as American politics, globalization, and whether three dessert courses a day is enough or a person should go with five.

Even when out and about, issues of import arise. Such as yesterday, when Kyle posed the question, which pair of these knock-off sunglasses best expresses my pimp style?

We could not reach a consensus, alas, but we all agreed that this pair gave him that special something that surely he needs.

To my sadness, he did not buy them. Some guys simply do not have the courage of their pimp style convictions.

Despite the potential competition of Mr. Creepy Cone

The Earred One knows it is in charge.

Want proof?

You have to look no further than this image of the altar its supplicants set up for it.

Mr. Creepy Cone may have a turtle posse, but it's never had an altar.

In other, unrelated figurine news, during a conversation a few of us came to fear that those reading this blog might think we are the kind of easy marks who buy any weird figurine we encounter.

Not so!

We did not, for example, buy any of these, which we encountered at a local store.

See? You don't have to worry about us at all. Not one little bit.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

It. Is. Mine.

Yes, after a phone bargaining session that left the other customers in the ice cream shop laughing, I bought it. "It" being the weird ice cream cone figurine from that same shop. It now goes by either Mr. Creepy Cone or Creepy Cone Guy, depending on which of us is speaking. We'll stick with CC for short.

Here he is in the shop, right after my purchase, already exerting his will over Gina, Kyle, and Sarah. Gina is closest to him and is finding his effect so powerful that she is about to fall onto the table.

By the time we were outside the ice cream shop, CC had already won Sarah's heart and charmed her into smiling...

and then giving him a kiss.

He insisted on riding in the Prius' cargo area and staring at those trailing us. I suspect he smelled the octopus.

Back home, he first took the lay of the land, scissors at the ready.

In a surprise move, he then leapt off the table, bowled over Sarah, and menaced her with scissors. We were helpless against his power, nor could we move to save the screaming Sarah.

Fortunately, he tired of this game and resumed his post on the table, his newly acquired turtle posse at the ready. He stands there still, watching us all--but himself scared of The Earred One, the original figurine, about whom more tomorrow.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Amazing sunsets

We get quite a few of them here, so I thought I'd share one with you, from a few nights ago. These first four photos show the twilit sky from several different vantage points near the house and on the beach. The quality isn't great, because I snapped these with my iPhone's camera, but you can get a sense of the beauty nonetheless.

These last three show Sarah walking toward me on the beach, the sunset framing her from behind. They're darker than what I saw, but I hope you can get a sense of how lovely the evening was--and, of course, of Sarah's beauty.

I watched forty years ago

on our television as men walked on the moon. Mrs. Phillips, about whom I will one day write more, watched with my family, and in that black-and-white telecast I saw my dreams and what humankind can accomplish and only good things. (To watch the restored footage, go here.) I now understand much better the political aspects of the space race, and I recognize that we have a great deal to do right here on Earth, but I still applaud that great achievement and believe we should always remember and honor it.

I want us to fix our problems here, and by "our" I mean humanity's, not just those of the U.S.

I also want us to go to space. I believe we should and must spread to other worlds.

Tomorrow, I'll resume beach coverage with an entry on an amazing sunset, another equally but very differently amazing thing we acquired, and more beach goodness, but for today Apollo 11 deserves our attention. Join me tonight in looking up at the moon and knowing that we have walked there and we should do so again--there and on the surface of Mars and on many other worlds. Ad astra!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Kyle spanks the elephant

(Disclaimer: I don't make up the news here at Beach Central; I just report it. Okay, sometimes I influence it, too, but I do report it as it occurs.)

Kyle had been having trouble mounting the elephant, but today he overcame this fearsome purple opponent and took the elephant's back. In an expression of his glee, Kyle then spanked the elephant; this photo catches him in mid spank.

Having conquered his foe, Kyle then turned it to his own nefarious purposes. In this shot, he is menacing Sarah, who is protecting herself with a bright green float.

As dangerous as Kyle might be, it is hard to take him seriously with the elephant's tail jutting up between his legs.

Finally, his victories complete and his place in the annals of beach battle now secure, Kyle relaxes aboard his personal purple transport.


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