Want a shirt from either spoken-word show?

And would you like to help buy books for kids?

If so, you've come to the right place.

We're selling the limited-edition shirts for the Saturday night premiere of Wake Up Horny, Wake Up Angry, and I'm donating all the profits to Balticon's charity, buying books for kids in the Buck Lodge Middle School.


As you can see from this picture of the shirt's back, you can be the proud owner of a mostly black fashion item that is sure to offend almost everyone who sees it. (Those it doesn't offend are likely to want to own one; send them to me.) Isn't the design even better in close-up?


The front boasts a smaller and somewhat different logo, but it is still bitchin', as you can see here in both the full-shirt and close-up photos.




















Now, you may be thinking, "Wait, didn't he do a show and a shirt last year?" Why, yes I did. It was the Science Magic Sex show, and we still have a small quantity of those shirts available. These four photos show you the back and front of the shirt, and as you can clearly see, it is made of awesome.

Either of these beauties can be yours for the tiny sum of $15. I keep only what the shirt cost me, and I donate the rest to the charity.

If you'd like to order, email me via the form on the Contact page, and I'll get back to you in email to work it out.

Odds are you'll be the only one on your block to own one!

A few quick things before I go

I head to the airport in eight hours, and I've yet to write, pack, pay some bills, and do some work. Typical. Starting tomorrow, I'll be reporting from San Francisco for a week.

Until then, I leave you with these brief notes.

You can now see Jain's art balls online at her site. To go right to the gallery of the cool creations, click here. Waiting for Sam, one of the niftier pieces in a collection of great creations, won an art show award at WorldCon and could be yours for a mere $245 (as the online gallery now shows). Someone needs to nab this one before Jain wises up and raises the price. (Okay, yes, I'm pimping Jain's art balls again.)

While I'm in a pimping mood, if you are anywhere near the five U.S. cities where Blue Rodeo will be playing, treat yourself to a great show and catch them in concert. I would if I lived anywhere near them.

If you're in San Francisco, you could do worse on a Sunday afternoon than to come by Borderlands Books, listen to my reading (or pretend to do so while you catch up on your email and text message backlogs), buy some books from the great folks there, and then join us for ice cream afterward. If we get a good crowd, I may offer the double treat of both reading a few pages from Children No More and doing a bit from the Science Magic Sex show. I hope to see some of you there.

Come see me in San Francisco on Sept. 20

Out on the other coast, in the mystic city of San Francisco, lives a little bookstore that can, Borderlands Books. (Okay, it's not that little, but the sentence worked better that way.) The owner, Alan Beatts, and manager, Jude Feldman, from time to time take pity on writers and invite them to the store to read, sign, and bask in the adoration of the one or two people who show up for such events. Regardless of the audience size, no signing there can be a loss, because you get to visit with Alan, Jude, the rest of the great staff, and, of course, the many, many books.

I'm going to be one of those signing writers come two weeks from Sunday. At 3:00 p.m. on September 20, I'll be reading there, with luck signing some books, and, if we get enough of a crowd to have good energy, doing some of the Science Magic Sex spoken word show.

So, if you're in the SF area and not doing anything that day, please drop by and say hi, buy a few books, and perhaps learn what happened to the hamsters.

I hope to see you there.

Post-con let-down

A lot of people experience a let-down that approaches--and sometimes becomes--depression after conventions. They spend a weekend in the fantasy world that is an SF con--no real responsibilities, lots of time with people like them, and so on--and then have to return to the real world. I normally get depressed not after but rather at the end of cons, because of how little I feel I've accomplished relative to the other writers present, but changing life contexts usually doesn't bother me.

Today, though, I was struck a bit by the realization that a week ago I'd been doing my comedy act on a stage in front of over a hundred and fifty laughing--and later loudly applauding--men and women. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed performing.

Henry Rollins often comments that he doesn't feel alive except when he's on the road, and I've always felt a bit bad for him. I now respect the feeling more, though I still don't share it. I had put out of my head the rush that comes from being on stage in front of a large live audience. I expect I'll continue to miss it for a while, and I'll probably put in a little time working to get other chances to do the show.

Montreal WorldCon folks, are you listening?

On the road again: Balticon, day 4

The morning began too early for my taste, which is to say that it was still a.m., with a volunteers' breakfast. The goal was to let those who do the hard work of the con get to spend some time with its guests, which is in principle a goal I support. I was barely awake, however, so I'm afraid I mostly sat at a table, nibbled a bagel, and spoke with the few other folks sitting near me.

After that, we rushed to the Baen Books panel, where we fought the projector, ultimately triumphed, and did a ninety-minute presentation on upcoming Baen titles, cover designs, and so on. We also gave away a lot of free books, ARCs, and other stuff. The crowd was a pretty good size, and I think everyone had a nice time.

I exited that room with about one hour to go to my one-man show, Science Magic Sex. I spent part of the time reviewing the act, part setting up, and part waiting. The hotel escalator was having problems, so we started five minutes late to allow folks to get settled. I don't know the exact size of the audience, but all the estimates I heard put it well north of a hundred and possibly as high as a hundred and fifty, which didn't fill the room but was still big enough to give it good energy.

I had planned a fifty-minute set, which is the time the con asked panels to run, but I had a clear hour slot with a free half hour after me, so I did a bit over an hour. Everyone laughed when they should have, didn't laugh at the wrong times, and at the end I received quite a lot of very nice applause. Friends who I think are telling me the truth all agreed that the show was very good and of professional comedian quality, which is what I was seeking. We also raised some money for RIF through the t-shirt sales--though shirts still remain. I did get some notes I trusted, and I made some of my own--and will, no doubt, make more when I get to watch a recording. Still, to the degree that I am able to be, I'm happy with how it went.

Now, I hope other cons ask me to do it again.

Dinner was at The Woodberry Kitchen, a delightful place where we all ate too much but not so much that any of us was in pain.

I'm now off to walk a bit and contemplate more of today's work.

The Science Magic Sex tour shirts are in

and they look pretty spiffy, courtesy of a nifty design Jennie did. Check out the back:
Pretty nice, eh? And that's a high-quality, heavyweight, Lands End t-shirt. We're talking a shirt you can wear to freak out your friends for quite some time without worrying that it will shrink to a size your cat couldn't cram into or spontaneously combust and leave you without eyelashes.

The front is pretty nice, too, with a slightly different and smaller version of the design.
The shirts are also a limited edition of 72, of which a dozen or so are already taken. If the SMS show plays at other venues, as I hope it will, and if we run out of shirts, as I hope we do, then we'll print new ones--but we'll do at least one small thing differently on them, so those of you who own first-edition shirts will be the only people with them. Yes, we will make sure these shirts stay collectible.

So, you may reasonably ask, why am I selling these so hard? The answer is simple: to raise money for a good charity, Balticon's favorite, Reading Is Fundamental (RIF). We're selling the shirts for $15, and we're donating all the profits to RIF.

We'll be hawking the shirts at Balticon, but you can also email me and work out a purchase that way. I'd set up some sophisticated online purchasing system, but frankly that's too much trouble for this size deal. Maybe in the future.

By the way, when I say "we" will be hawking the t-shirts, I'm being a bit free with language. I'll do a little talking, but Jennie and Ticia, my Balticon-appointed handler and now friend I've never met in person, will actually be doing the work of taking money, staffing the table, and so on.

So, if you want a shirt, act now, or grab us at the con, and get a limited-edition, collectible garment while also helping a good cause.

There will be merch

I've mentioned before the Science Magic Sex spoken-word show I'll be doing as one of the Balticon special events. I've also mentioned there might be tour shirts. Well, that possibility has turned real: at Balticon (and afterward) you will be able to buy your very own Science Magic Sex merch.

I'll have pictures as soon as we receive the shirts, but trust me that Jennie did a pretty sweet red and white design that we're having printed on these black garments of awesomeness. Wearing one of these babies will make you taller and slimmer, cure migraines, and improve your sexual prowess. Okay, okay, maybe it won't do any of those things, but you'll certainly own a cool shirt you won't see on just anyone.

You can have your very own for the remarkable price of fifteen bucks--and all profit will go to Reading Is Fundamental, Balticon's favorite charity.

If you're going to the con, come to the show, laugh your ass off at my insanity, and then buy a nifty shirt--and help a good cause in the process.

I'll be easy to spot: I'll be the guy on the stage with the microphone.

Science Magic Sex

That's the title of the spoken word show I'll be doing at Balticon. I won't say more about its contents, but you can get a little information from the Balticon podcast page, where they're now featuring a promo for the show.

In a move that reeks of ego but is actually a combination of amusing myself and (until now) a secret manipulation attempt, we're going to make tour t-shirts for the show. We may even bring a few to the con--or not; I haven't decided yet.

Here's the secret manipulation plan: I do the show. A lot of folks show up (this is where you guys have to help out). It goes well, and we all enjoy ourselves. The word spreads. Other cons hear and ask me to do it for them; WorldCon, are you listening? Then, we'd have a tour, a lot of folks would have laughed and had a good time, and I would have indulged my desire to do more spoken word.

Aren't secret plans grand?

Speaking of which, is that a Blue Rodeo plug I feel coming on? It is indeed, for the first single from their recent Small Miracles act, a song entitled, appropriately enough, "C'mon." Enjoy.