Mr. Creepy Cone needs a friend

He's lonely now that The Eared One has gone off to college with Sarah. (When during our parents weekend tour we got to see Sarah's dorm room, she showed us that The Eared One is indeed keeping a watchful eye on the situation there from its perch high in her closet. Nothing escapes The Eared One's watchful gaze.) Fortunately, while at the fair, Gina found and photographed that special companion: this guy.

If you're like me (and if you are, seek therapy), the first thing you think when you see this hot dog/human hybrid is, "Man, I need me one of those!"

For those who are wondering, if you're like me the second thing you think is, "Hmmm. I wonder how it would feel to squirt condiments on my head."

Again, be thankful you're not like me.

Anyway, even those of you who are considerably less odd than I must admit that this statue is awesome. Check out the weirdly accurate legs and shoes, the oozing mustard, the curly ketchup horn, and, of course, the focused, demented expression, complete with protruding, overly red tongue. The closer you look, the more the craftsmanship behind this creation becomes obvious. Note, for example, the eyebrows, one mustard and one ketchup. That's quality.

Yup, Mr. Creepy Cone needs a companion, and this guy is the thing for the job.

Now, if I could just figure out where to buy one....

Mr. Creepy Cone takes the high ground

No sooner did we get him home than this short but freaky rascal found his way onto the top of the kitchen cabinets. With The Eared One holding sway in Sarah's room, the top two floors of the house are now infested with demonic figurines. Only the basement is safe--and if you've ever been here, you know it's not really safe down there, not at all.

Initially, I had no objection to Mr. Creepy Cone going for such a defensively strong position; it only made good sense. In fact, I had to give it props for its choice.

Soon, though, it used that position and its special powers to put Scott in its thrall. Here's poor Scott, large knife in hand, receiving instructions, which only he can hear, from Mr. Creepy Cone.
















I wasn't really concerned, however, until Mr. Creepy Cone suddenly darkened the room, Scott still under his control.

Now, I fear an intervention is in order--though a very careful one, for that is a Ken Onion Shun blade and very, very sharp indeed.

Wish me luck.

Despite the potential competition of Mr. Creepy Cone

The Earred One knows it is in charge.

Want proof?

You have to look no further than this image of the altar its supplicants set up for it.

Mr. Creepy Cone may have a turtle posse, but it's never had an altar.








In other, unrelated figurine news, during a conversation a few of us came to fear that those reading this blog might think we are the kind of easy marks who buy any weird figurine we encounter.

Not so!

We did not, for example, buy any of these, which we encountered at a local store.
















See? You don't have to worry about us at all. Not one little bit.

It. Is. Mine.

Yes, after a phone bargaining session that left the other customers in the ice cream shop laughing, I bought it. "It" being the weird ice cream cone figurine from that same shop. It now goes by either Mr. Creepy Cone or Creepy Cone Guy, depending on which of us is speaking. We'll stick with CC for short.

Here he is in the shop, right after my purchase, already exerting his will over Gina, Kyle, and Sarah. Gina is closest to him and is finding his effect so powerful that she is about to fall onto the table.








By the time we were outside the ice cream shop, CC had already won Sarah's heart and charmed her into smiling...



















and then giving him a kiss.




















He insisted on riding in the Prius' cargo area and staring at those trailing us. I suspect he smelled the octopus.





















Back home, he first took the lay of the land, scissors at the ready.





















In a surprise move, he then leapt off the table, bowled over Sarah, and menaced her with scissors. We were helpless against his power, nor could we move to save the screaming Sarah.


















Fortunately, he tired of this game and resumed his post on the table, his newly acquired turtle posse at the ready. He stands there still, watching us all--but himself scared of The Earred One, the original figurine, about whom more tomorrow.