Early this morning, Scott had to take the SAT. As probably all of you know, getting up at six-thirty is not a great way to start your Saturday. It turned worse when they made him wait over an hour before he could begin the test, wouldn't allow him to get any tissue to blow his nose (he's fighting a cold), and then, of course, kept him a full hour late.
As we were driving away from the school where he took the test, we both agreed that one cure was in order: man food.
Thus it was that, quite a few miles and minutes later, we found ourselves sitting under an umbrella behind a local sandwich shop staring at this vision of loveliness.
(Click on either picture to see a huge image of it)
Two cheese steaks, one with three varieties of cheese, and, yes, bacon cheese fries fresh from the fryer.
Holy crap, it was good!
As we were shoving this ultra-high-calorie feast down our yaps, we were discussing vegetarians. Scott opined, and I agreed, that though in principle it would be good for both his health and the planet for him to be one, he couldn't make the change, because he loved the taste of meat too much. We then wandered into this bit of conversation:
Scott: I asked some vegetarians if they missed the taste of meat, and they said no. So then I said, "Not even bacon?" They still said no.We went on to ponder how our many friends who are dieting madly (which, believe it or not, I am doing most days of the week, but not this weekend with Scott and not on trips) would react to this meal. We decided it was good that they could not reach us to try to kill us.
Me: That's clearly not natural.
Scott (nodding): That's when it hit me: vegetarians aren't people!
Me: Your wisdom is growing, grasshopper.
By the way, lest any of you accuse me of irresponsible parenting for consuming and/or providing such a high-fat meal, let me point out that I had all the angles covered: less than ten feet from our table stood this truck:
Semper parataus, my friends, semper paratus.
Damn, it was a good lunch.
(IMPORTANT NOTE: In case you missed it, this was a humor piece. I have many vegetarian friends. My daughter is a vegetarian. I'm just having a little fun here.
If you're still pissed, try some bacon. It would make you feel better.)