One more tidbit about that possible new spoken-word show

Though it's not definite yet, as I mentioned in a recent post, it's extremely likely now that I'll be debuting a new spoken-word show at this year's Balticon.

If I do, the title of the show will be

Mr. Poor Choices II:  I Don't Understand

More about this later, assuming it happens.

On the road again: a long trip, day 12CONtraflow, New Orleans, day 4

I can tell I ran myself too far down in part from how long it's taking me to heal--I'm nowhere near healthy yet--and in part from the fact that no matter how much I sleep, I am always exhausted. Still, I will get there.

My con duties began today with the job of moderator on the panel, "Paranormal Skeptics vs. Believers." I began by revealing my bias--strongly on the skeptic/disbeliever side--and then asked the panelists to give their opening positions. As it turned out, David Brin and I held down the skeptic end, while three of the four other panelists took the believer position. (One said he was uninformed and open.) The discussion ran the full hour and was polite but occasionally rather lively. I think the audience had a good time, which is always the most important thing.

After a quick trip out for lunch, I acted as the auctioneer for the art auction, which was a decidedly low-key affair that raised a little money for the artists and a few dollars for Falling Whistles, thanks to some lovely pots the child con attendees had painted and donated.

Work filled all the free time in the day before, around, and after these activities except for a run for take-out Italian dinner and a short time at the dead-dog party.

The folks here love their con, love their town, love SF, and give their all to this event. I was honored to get to serve as their inaugural Toastmaster.

Oh, yeah: I promised to talk about the show.

I was to perform Mr. Poor Choices in the hotel bar/lounge, Rumors, at 11:30 last night. The problem is, the LSU/Alabama football game had ended not too long before that, and the local crowd was still celebrating the overtime LSU victory. The TVs were loud, the people were drunk, and almost no one remembered the comedy show.

For a bit, it looked like the show might not happen, but about 11:45 folks decided I should do it. They turned off the TVs, a very small crowd (maybe 20 folks, some of them not con attendees) gathered, and I took the tiny makeshift stage under the three very hot lights. I did a fifty-five-minute set, people laughed a lot, and everyone seemed happy at the end. It was a bit demoralizing going from over 400 folks at Balticon to fewer than two dozen here, but, hey, that's the gig, and I gave it my best. I received only praise, including from the bartender, who loved it, so I must have gotten at least some of it right. When I have time and bandwidth later, I'll study the video.

For now, I will finish work, pack, and then crash.

Tomorrow, I will work, hope to grab lunch in New Orleans, and do a lot of traveling and working en route to home.

On the road again: a long trip, day 11CONtraflow, New Orleans, day 3

Today, as per the plan, the con kept me rather busy.

I began by emceeing the costume contest, which was a lot of fun. We had several very young fans in costumes, and all were cute and nice and exactly what you'd hope they'd be. The youngest, a twenty-two-month-old Tigger, kept charging the small stage, to the amusement of all.

After a dinner break, I then was the auctioneer for the slave auction, a local tradition. In it, volunteers agreed to be auctioned as "slaves" to others who got to be their "masters" for two hours. I put the words in quotes because all the services involved remained unspecified until after the auction and required the agreement of both parties. In addition to the people, I also had to auction a Kathy Ireland life-size cardboard cut-out and an inflatable love doll. The adults-only crowd was loud and very much into it, and we raised a fair amount of money for the con.

I'm writing this entry in the break between the end of the auction and my spoken-word show, Mr. Poor Choices. I'm performing in the hotel's lounge, Rumors, which has no real stage normally but which will put in a temporary six-inch one for me and illuminate me with three ceiling lamps. Given the state of my voice--rather tired at this point--I am glad I will have a mic.

Tomorrow, I'll report on how the show went.

On the road again: Balticon, day 4

I managed to grab another decent night's rest. My exhaustion condition has consequently decreased from Defcon 5 Red to Defcon 4 Red--a marked improvement.

At 1:00 today, I debuted the Mr. Poor Choices stand-up/spoken word show. The house was quite full--best estimate is somewhere well north of 400 folks--and their energy was great. I won't know for sure until I see the recording, but I believe it was my best show yet--though, of course, I already have notes for myself. Still, for the first time I was not immediately depressed about the show as I walked off the stage.

I rushed from it to a panel that was supposed to be about good and evil in SF and fantasy. Instead, it ended up focusing on favorite heroes, primarily comic-book heroes, but I was wrung out enough from the show and I am enough of a comics fan that I was able to contribute reasonably and without getting unduly annoyed at the topic swerve.

From there we rushed to a quick lunch, and then I hit my 4:00 panel, which was 50 minutes of improv comedy. The moderator and all three of my fellow performers knew their stuff, so we had a good time keeping the small but packed room howling. My energy wasn't as good as it should have been, but I think I more or less held my own, and we all had a fun time. From the laughter, the audience did, too.

Dinner this evening was at a Baltimore favorite, Woodberry Kitchen. Every single thing we tried was delicious. If you live in this area and haven't eaten here, you are missing a great treat. I highly recommend it.

Tomorrow, I moderate a morning panel and then hit the road.

The Mr. Poor Choices t-shirt design

I've mentioned before that we'll be selling shirts at Balticon for this show and, as usual, donating all the profit to Balticon's reading charity. Thanks to Jennie, who designed the previous two shirts, I can now show you what the designs on the shirt will be. (We won't have the shirts themselves for several weeks.)

As with the previous two show shirts, we're going with a nice heavy black basic t-shirt, because everyone can wear black. The front will continue the tradition of having a very basic design over the heart.


It obviously won't look like a box on the black background of the shirt, so work with me.

The back will be a lot more fun.


Every poor choice on it is either something I've done (the ones with check marks) or from the show.

To understand them, come to the show.

I don't know yet what we'll be charging for the shirts, because I don't know yet what they will cost. As soon as we have the shirts in hand and know the price, I'll post full shirt photos and pricing here. If you want one of these shirts, you have two options:

1) Come to the show at Balticon and buy it there.

2) Preorder.

At the show, we'll take only cash, so please come prepared.

For pre-ordering, please wait until you see pictures of the shirts here, then contact me via the form on the site. You'll need to pay the shipping postage plus the cost of the shirt; we'll pack and mail them for free.

I think they'll be a lot of fun, and they're certain to be conversation starters in almost any group!

Mr. Poor Choices

In addition to being a nickname that I resist, Mr. Poor Choices is also the title of the new spoken word/comedy show that I'll be debuting at Balticon this Memorial Day weekend. That Sunday afternoon at 1:00, I'll again take the stage to tell stories and make people laugh. This show will contain some of the greatest hits of the previous two (Science Magic Sex and Wake Up Horny, Wake Up Angry) plus a bunch of new stuff I think folks will like.

We will again have a t-shirt for the show, and I will again be donating all profits from it to Balticon's reading charity. When we have a final design, I'll show it to you here. As always, if you want to order one in advance, let me know after you see the design, and we'll work it out.

I should also note that, as in the past, I recommend this show to those 18 years of age or older. Neither I nor the con has any way to police the large auditorium, but I do use all the words and discuss a variety of adult topics, so I recommend that parents keep their kids away.

Finally, though at some point soon you should be able to find it on the Balticon site, here's the description of the show that they'll be using.

Mr. Poor Choices
Spoken-word performer and 2008 Compton Crook Award Winner Mark L. Van Name returns to the Balticon stage for a new storytelling and comedy show, Mr. Poor Choices. Combining some of the best of his previous two shows with many new bits, Mr. Poor Choices will keep you laughing for an hour—and provide valuable life lessons.

Learn why you shouldn’t:

Tell a teacher your career goal is to be a piece of lingerie.
Throw a friend at gunpoint in your trunk in front of a crowd of senior citizens.
Ask a hotel night clerk for a pair of girl’s underwear.

And many more.

Not to mention the hamsters!

Join us Sunday at 1:00 p.m. for an hour of laughter in the Valley Ballroom!

Warning: Kids should wait to learn some lessons! This is an adult show, so no one under 18 should attend.

I hope to see you at the con!