Showing posts with label Machete. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Machete. Show all posts

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The American

I somehow managed to skip Monday's blog entry, so now I feel as if I owe you. To repay this debt, I'm going to do two posts today: this movie review, and then my normal one, which will address my travels as I begin a nine-day California trip.

Warning: spoilers ahead.

When the studio didn't offer previews for The American until only a few days before its release, many wondered if the film was a dud they were trying to hide. The real answer, as many critics have observed, is that this movie is a European art flick that happens to star George Clooney. That heritage is evident in both the film's strengths and, unfortunately, its many weaknesses.

On the plus side, the movie is beautiful, with every shot worthy of closer inspection. The acting is uniformly strong and understated. The themes are serious and worthy of consideration.

The problem is, the movie is so stereotypically an art film that you can predict almost everything about it.

What does every character do before taking any action? Sit, stare into space, and think. Every reaction shot is twice as long as it could be.

With what character does Clooney fall in love? The prostitute with a heart of gold and a bangin' body who dresses in Eurotrash chic she could never afford.

Who is the main antagonist? The life Clooney has chosen, as personified by the man who pays him.

Right up to the last shot, in which an endangered butterfly slowly flies upward as Clooney dies, his soul similarly ascending from the redemptive power of hooker love, The American embraces every art-house cliche. At this tender ending, most of us in my group were laughing and exclaiming, "No! Really? The butterfly?"

By every traditional metric of film quality, The American is a much better movie than the other flick I caught last weekend, Machete, but, man, I don't care if I never see The American again, while I've already asked Amazon to email me when the DVD of Machete hits the market.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Machete

is the most fun available at your local megaplex this summer--as long as you can appreciate this type of movie. The night we saw it, the audience spontaneously erupted with applause and raucous laughter many, many times throughout the hundred and five minute film.

In case you're not sure what I mean by this type of movie, let me give you a few example moments: Danny Trejo hacking off the heads of bad guys in one sweep of his machete. A naked girl stabbing Trejo with that same machete and then pulling a cell phone from her personal area. Trejo naked in water with Lindsay Lohan and an actress playing her mother. Michelle Rodriguez in a leather eye patch, leather bra, and leather pants dual-wielding pistols as she kills the border-patrolling vigilante bad guys. Seventies porn music playing every time Trejo improbably hooks up with a woman. The immortal line, "Machete don't text."

If you're not already hooked, you won't be, so you may want to stay home.

If you're expecting a good movie, one with believability and character development, you should definitely stay home.

But, if you love bad movies that go so far they turn good, then absolutely do not miss Machete.

(If you still can't decide, check out this red-band trailer. It should sell you one way or the other.)

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