Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Machete

is the most fun available at your local megaplex this summer--as long as you can appreciate this type of movie. The night we saw it, the audience spontaneously erupted with applause and raucous laughter many, many times throughout the hundred and five minute film.

In case you're not sure what I mean by this type of movie, let me give you a few example moments: Danny Trejo hacking off the heads of bad guys in one sweep of his machete. A naked girl stabbing Trejo with that same machete and then pulling a cell phone from her personal area. Trejo naked in water with Lindsay Lohan and an actress playing her mother. Michelle Rodriguez in a leather eye patch, leather bra, and leather pants dual-wielding pistols as she kills the border-patrolling vigilante bad guys. Seventies porn music playing every time Trejo improbably hooks up with a woman. The immortal line, "Machete don't text."

If you're not already hooked, you won't be, so you may want to stay home.

If you're expecting a good movie, one with believability and character development, you should definitely stay home.

But, if you love bad movies that go so far they turn good, then absolutely do not miss Machete.

(If you still can't decide, check out this red-band trailer. It should sell you one way or the other.)

4 comments:

J. Griffin Barber said...

Hey, let's do the time warp to 70's blacksploitation flicks! We always needed a Mexican Shaft!

I will see this, I just can't go to a theater for it.

Michelle said...

Wait, did I see Robert DeNiro and Jessica Alba in that trailer? And, can Danny Trejo be an uglier more repulsive leading man? And what is Don Johnson and Lindsay Lohan doing in a movie like this? Did you see that two leading characters in Lost are in it as well? Did I just see pigs fly? Hell, yes, I am going to see this. Why? Because it is too way over the top not to. "We didn't cross the border, the border crossed us!" shouts Alba who is so believable as a Mexican woman. Can't wait. Thanks for the heads up on this one.

Mark said...

Fair enough, Griffin, and the analogy is also reasonable. That said, it has more of an angry political core than one might suspect.

Mark said...

Michelle, it is indeed that far over the top.

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