College rape prevention training should start with men

(Trigger warning:  this post is entirely about rape and rape culture.)


A recent NPR story discussed the challenges colleges are facing in doing rape-prevention training for women.  I'm not writing this to comment on that story; you can find plenty of such commentary online.  No, I'm here to point out that if we really want to stop rape and rid ourselves of rape culture, we must start by training the source of the problem:  men. 

Let's be clear:  rape is a male problem.  The victims of rape are never, repeat never, at fault.  The men who rape them are.  Period. 

Thus, if we want to stop rape, let's train men not to rape. 

Let's train them to understand, really and completely understand, that no means no.  Let's explain over and over again that no consent means no, that drunk or stoned or unconscious people cannot give consent and so you should not have sex with them.  Let's review the criminal penalties.  Let's talk about the damage these acts do, the lifetimes of trauma they leave their victims to handle.  Let's ask them to visualize how they would feel about their mothers or their sisters or their girlfriends--or themselves--being taken sexually against their will.  Let's explain that rape is never funny, that it's never cute, that it's not a good word, that we should never ever ever do it or condone it.

Have all the discussions you want about rape-prevention training for college women, but while you're at it, train every incoming college male that only they can stop rape, that it is their responsibility to behave better and never to descend to this depth. 

Rape is a male problem.  If we want to stop it, we have to stop men from doing it.  Maybe training would help. 

CNN, Steubenville, and rape culture

If your eyes are at all open, you see rape culture all around you.  If you don't, consider the recent example of the rape case in Steubenville, Ohio, and CNN's coverage of the case.  (I won't recount all the details, but on the off chance that you haven't heard of the case, consider going here or here.)

What the CNN reporters did so tragically wrong was not simply show tremendous insensitivity to the victim; by focusing so heavily on the "tragedy" of the young men, the consequences those rapists would pay (a whole year in juvenile jail, possibly to be extended later), the network anchors also participated in our ongoing rape culture, as if somehow the rape was something that happened to the young men.

No.

These men raped a young woman.  Period. 

There is no excuse, ever, for raping someone.  Period. 

Talking about her being so drunk she was passed out does not in any way excuse anything.  They violated her body without her consent.  Period. 

When we talk about a rape case, we as a culture must start with a basic assumption:  there is never an excuse for rape.  Then, and only then, can the rest of the discussion begin.

As long as we even hint at rape as something that "happened," we are excusing it and furthering rape culture.  As long as we even remotely imply that the victim was in any way responsible, we are excusing the rape and furthering rape culture. 

That is wrong.  Period.