Web site spam needs to up its game

I've written before about the spam that comes to me via the form on my site's Contact page.  For the last little while, my Web hosting service's spam filters managed to keep the spam away, but now it's back with a vengeance.  From its many drug offers, I've learned that the spam gods worry that I am suffering from a wide range of maladies and so want to offer me an equally wide range of cure opportunities.

In just one week, my spam very considerately offered me the chance to buy drugs to fix all of the following ailments:

• obesity
• anorexia
• impotency
• vaginal itch
• chronic itching (but not specifically in my vagina)
• baldness
• psoriasis and other skin problems
• attention-deficit disorder
• fatigue
• manic attacks
• fits of depression

I'm quite impressed with the miracles the spam gods can now create with drugs--though not impressed enough, of course, to actually click on any link in any of these messages.

On an only slightly more serious note, I'm actually a bit disappointed in the quality of my spam.  Surely the spam mailers can scan my photos and note I'm neither balding nor likely to possess a vagina, to name but the two most obvious examples.  If they're going to keep bothering me, the least they could do is to try to customize their offerings to my interests.  Why, for example, aren't they attempting to lure me with a link to a $400, never-opened copy of the recent deluxe edition of the Codex Seraphinianus?  At least that sort of link would tempt me.

Until they do, other than occasionally checking to see if anything feels itchy, I'm going to have to continue to ignore my Web-site spam.