The memorial service

As planned, we held it today at Mom's church, The First Baptist Church of St. Petersburg. The family reception started at 11:00 a.m., and for an hour we visited with many different people. Some were current friends, some were old friends, and others were folks I've never met. The common thread that tied us all was Mom. She touched a lot of lives. I'm proud of her for that.

The service included music Mom loved, courtesy of the choir and music director/pastor of worship, Greg Crane. Somewhere around 50 choir members came out to sing; Mom would have loved it.

Senior Pastor Walter Draughon, III ran the service and did an excellent job. I am not of any particular religious persuasion, but Mom was a devout Christian and member of this church. Walter conducted an excellent sermon that reflected Mom's respect for all religious beliefs. Walter struck me as a guy I would have enjoyed discussing religion with.

My sister, Liza, and I spoke as well. I delivered a tightened and somewhat reworked version of the blog entry I posted last Saturday, and it was rough going. I teared up way more than I had hoped I would.

Afterward, friends in the church supplied food, and many people ate and socialized more. I visited with people, but I just didn't want to eat, not then.

My brother, Martin, then took me to the airport. It was great to get to spend time with him and his family this past week, though obviously I wish the circumstances had been different.

After a long time and two delays at the airport, we flew home.

When I landed, I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere, but that feeling will pass. My normal life will resume. I'll have to conclude Mom's financial affairs, a process sure to be more annoying and lengthier than I would like. As I drive to work, I'll probably start to call her and remember I can't, and that will hurt. A lot will hurt, but less with time.

I won't stop missing or loving her, though, nor should I. Nor will those many other people who came today, nor the many who knew her and cared for her and could not attend.

All of this is as it always is and always has been with the death of someone you love, as natural a part of life as eating and sleeping, but that knowledge does not, right now, make it any easier.

I'm going to stop writing about Mom's death, at least for a while, because I need to deal with my life, with the overdue book, with all the people I care about.

But, wow, do I miss her, and wow, do I wish that just one more time I could tell her...

...I love you, Mom.