Monday, August 2, 2010

Today's quiz: What is the Women's Booty Reader?

Not familiar with this new sensation? Here's the ad I saw for it today in the window of an Old Navy store.

Is this mystery

(a) a device that whirls around a standing woman, weighing and measuring her butt while creating a perfect on-screen simulation of it and immediately and automatically posting both the simulation and live photos on the top ten ass-rating Web sites

(b) a smiling, pimply, sixteen-year-old boy sitting in a metal folding chair with his hands out, a sign on his chest saying, "Booty Reader"

(c) a gnarly old dude wearing a ratty purple Harry Potter cap he stole from a niece, displaying with each leer the gap in his front teeth, who tells your future by squeezing your ass and muttering to himself such statements as, "nothing like this in prison"

(d) a truly crass advertising campaign by a national clothing retailer that ought to hire an ad agency that hasn't realized that Mad Men isn't a real-life tutorial on how to run a successful company
You be the judge.

I will say this: if the answer is (b) or (c), I may have to seek a new job.


Michelle said...

Actually, they have you lay on this foam forming mattress that measures the depth of each buttock and the general size of your ass, then it is announced over the PA system whether or not you should be wearing a size 0 or mom jeans, which they will then video your reaction and download it as a viral youtube video. Makes you want to run right out and try it out, doesn't it? What's next a tee shirt estimator?

Mark said...

Perhaps a real pants size estimator for men?

Todd said...

I don't know what it is, but I like it.

Mark said...

How could you not?


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