The Rock needs to kick some ass

When The Rock was still The Rock and had not yet devolved into the more family-friendly Dwayne Johnson (which is, I must admit, his real name), he kicked some on-screen ass in a gem of a weird movie, The Rundown. After watching Race To Witch Mountain today (and, yes, I have only myself to blame), I'm convinced Dwayne needs to get his Rock on and make The Rundown II ASAP.

To be fair to him, he was not the least human actor in this pleasantly entertaining but entirely hollow Witch Mountain escapade; those honors go to the kids, who started out as concrete aliens and ended as concrete kids. Such a transformation!

Carla Gugino, who given half a chance can be smoking hot, managed here only to compete with Dwayne for the award for Most Uncomfortable in a Leading Role.

The truly telling moment came near the end, when the two adults are watching the spaceship fly away. Music is playing, and you can almost hear the director coaxing the actors: Show me sadness, but also give me wonderment! You can do it! Work it! Work it!

What Johnson and Gugino instead delivered was an unfortunately out of sync rapid mood swing between "oh, look, my mother in law" forced smiles and "God, I wish I could pass this huge turd" grimaces.

Having said all that, here's the sick part about my movie-loving self: I had a pretty good time watching and chuckling over this movie.

I just can't recommend it to anyone else, and I sure hope The Rock kicks some ass again sometime real soon now.