Anger and power redux: a personal example

A very long time ago, working legs with my old friend and then training partner, Randy, we were wrapping up our quad workout with twenty-rep sets on the incline press machine. I had a lot of weight on the machine, somewhere in the range of 700 pounds (Randy did much more), and I was bummed about the fact that I had yet to make three sets of twenty reps with that weight. I'd finished the first two, but for three weeks running on the third I'd stopped after the twelfth rep. I finished the first two sets, got ready for the third, and felt myself give up inside.

I hate giving up.

I really hated it that day. I'd had it with myself. I sat in the chair, attached myself to the handles with wraps (which help you from squirting out under the pressure of the descending weight, because the weight your legs can move exceeds your grip, at least typically), and stared upward. I couldn't stand the thought of failing again, but the anger wasn't quite there. I started banging my head against the thin cushion covering the bench on which I was leaning. I kept hitting my head until I felt the fury in me grow beyond what I thought I could handle, and then I pushed up the handles and started doing the reps.

On the eleventh rep, doubt crept in, and I muttered an obscenity, hit my head a few more times against the cushion, and powered on.

I did twenty-one reps. I pushed up the last one so hard the plate against which my feet were pushing literally flew a few inches away from me. I slammed the handles into place and quickly stood.

I couldn't see anything but red. My ears were pounding. I dimly heard Randy's voice but could not understand his words. I later learned that he was telling Lee, a woman who was then training with us, that it would be a very bad idea for her to touch me just then. She wanted to see if I was okay. Randy was right; that would have been bad. As it turned out, my head was bleeding in the back from a small cut I'd given myself by banging on the cushion. It was worth it.

Anger can definitely give you power, at least in the short run and if you can control it. I don't recommend doing things like what I did, but I don't regret that one, either.

Why?

Because I fucking owned that set.