On the road again: Arisia, day 5 - Panel of the damned

No, I won't write which panel it was; I don't want to hurt some of the people involved.

It was, though, hellish.

Over two dozen fans crammed into a room to discuss hardcore geek stuff. Two of the panelists, including the moderator, bagged.

The crowd was into it. Forget the whole panelist/audience separation; they had points to make, and they were going to make them!

One panelist twirled his hair and pulled it from his head to its furthest point, as if trying to remove his brain to escape the room. When that failed, he pulled some hair into his mouth, chewed on it, and finally tugged it out from where it had gotten stuck in his teeth. Later, he picked his nose, studied the output carefully, and then chewed thoughtfully on it.

Another panelist simply twitched from side to side and, when he could stand it no longer, took over and talked until he found himself lost.

I spoke from time to time and worked to remain cogent. When I was quiet, I watched the audience as long as I could stand it, then hid in my iPhone, playing a game and computing the number of seconds until I could escape legitimately.

Ah, the audience.

A woman tilted her head to the side and stayed that way until drool ran from the lower lip corner to the tip of her chin, at which point she slurped it back up, righted her head, wiped her chin, and then slowly tilted into another iteration.

A man chair-danced through an apparently choreographed sequence: scratch right shoulder, scratch left shoulder, scratch stomach with both hands, scratch crotch with both hands, repeat.

A fellow with many points to make bounced up and down in excitement until the self-appointed moderator called on him.

Two women in the far rear corner stroked each other's shoulders gently and from time to time fell into hardcore necking, only to emerge a few seconds later wild-eyed and apparently ready to dive anew into the geek topic at hand.

There's more, but I ate recently.

Aren't you sorry you missed this one?