An alternate perspective: answers to the Dr. Efficient questionsfrom a woman who once rented his basement

Warning: The following is an adult entry. If you are underage or simply do not want to read about sex-related topics, stop now.

In an earlier blog post, I issued an open invitation to anyone who would like to provide alternative responses to the questions Dr. Efficient has seen and answered so far. Anyone who wanted to do so would have to start with the questions he answered in his first column and then work her/his way to the present.

One woman stepped up to the challenge: JennieR, hereafter Tigger, debuts in this guest column.

To answer a few questions I've already received since mentioning this debut: Yes, she's real. Yes, she really does have a Tigger tattoo. Yes, she does claim the tattoo isn't actually supposed to be Tigger fucking Pooh. And, yes, she is a friend of Dr. Efficient's and mine.

I must also note that all opinions are those of Tigger.


Why do men obsess so much about the size of their penises? Do they truly get penis envy? And, do they think we really care about the size?

Really, as far as I can tell, they don't. Well, or, only to the extent that it's something else to be competitive about. Which is to say they obsess about the size of their penises to roughly the same extent they obsess over how far they can pee or how much beer they can drink before passing out. Mostly, they just want something to brag about and if they lack both useful skills and completely useless accomplishments but happen to have a big dick, you'll hear more about the size of their penis. Otherwise, you may just hear about how fast they can field strip a rifle.

Likewise, they don't get penis envy. Arguably, it's a girl thing. (Probably it's not even that; Freud was just cracked, and most likely no one gets penis envy.)

Finally, I expect that they do know we care about size. (What they apparently don't realize is that while women do care about size, we don't care to hear about size & bragging reduces rather than increases odds they will be offered the opportunity to do anything with their huge cock.) If you've had some variety in sexual partners, you know you care. If not, you might not be aware. Granted skill matters more, and manual stimulation, oral stimulation, and toys are all good and may be acceptable substitutions. But size, shape, and angle of objects inserted make a difference, so while you may not care much or you may not realize it, to some extent you care. Hopefully, more than you care about how far a man can pee.

Why are men so clueless about what a woman needs in a relationship?

For roughly the same reasons I have no idea how to fix your car, starting with never having seen your car, and ending with having never received instruction on how to fix a car. At all.

Likewise, if I sat down with a mechanic and a manual and finally did learn how to fix your car, it might not enable me to fix anything and everything with an engine.

That said, most men are trainable.

And some men are surprisingly not clueless.

Sadly, most of them have other problems like being gay or being married or being stationed in Afghanistan.

What foods should a man eat/or not eat to make his cum tasty?

It never occurred to me to be concerned about this.

The last man I played with had tasty cum. His diet seemed to consist primarily of coffee, beer, water, lean meats, some vegetables, bread, and the occasional scone (too, whenever I had dessert, some of my dessert). This may have made his cum tasty, or it might have been genetic. Who knows?

I suspect that asking a man to change his diet is a bad idea anyway; it's probably easier to change men. Or, maybe you should just use Listerine or something else that's going to kill your ability to taste anything before blowing a guy if you're really concerned about potential flavor.

As long as you keep sending in questions, Tigger and Dr. Efficient will return soon! Email your queries to me or send them via the Contact page on my site.