Saturday, August 13, 2011

An open invitation to those who feel Dr. Efficient is wrong

As you might imagine, more than a few people, most of them women, have told me in no uncertain terms how very wrong most of Dr. Efficient's answers are. Some of these folks have been rather vehement in stating those feelings.

I've been pondering this situation, and I've decided to offer to all those who feel Dr. Efficient is wrong an opportunity: write your own guest column here. You would have to go back to the first Dr. Efficient column and respond to those questions, and then when you had caught up to the current columns, I would run the doctor's and yours either intermixed or one after the other.

Before I made this offer, I asked Dr. Efficient if he would mind if I did this. His response:

It certainly wouldn't bother me to have somebody else go back and give incorrect answers to all the questions that I've already answered correctly.
The rules are simple and the same ones under which Doc E. operates:
* You have to answer all the same questions he already has.

* Your viewpoint has to be rather different from his (which presumably it already is, or you wouldn't be interested in rebutting him).

* I will edit you for conformance to my personal style guide but otherwise will leave your work alone.

* You may use a pseudonym, but I must know your real name, and you must be willing for me to show it to the world in the tags, as I do with Dr. Efficient/Kyle.

* There's no money here; I don't pay Dr. E, and I wouldn't be paying you.

* I will run only one alternative viewpoint column (well, unless two people just blow me away with their writing).
That's it. Anyone think Dr. Efficient is wrong and want to play?


Anonymous said...

I am a new reader of your blog, but have scanned a significant number of the Dr. Efficient columns. These are made up questions, right? There simply cannot be this many women who are that stupid and clueless about men. Right? All of your women readers have been sequestered on a desert island that is absent of men, and they have only recently been introduced to the male brain. Yes, that must be it. I mean really, all of Dr. Efficient's thorough and entertaining answers could be boiled down to one statement: Men want to fuck. You could expand it a bit from there: Men think about fucking a lot. Thinking about it a lot results in coming up with lots of scenarios. Men want to fuck as much as possible. Men want to fuck as many women as possible. But, that's pretty much the gist of it. To all you women who continue to ask these remarkably oblivious questions - do you think that if you keep phrasing things differently, you'll figure out the secret to convert men's brains to women's? Or that suddenly Dr. Efficient will answer, "Yes! You've finally breached the wall! We don't really love sex like we've been telling you over and over (and over). We've been waiting and waiting for you to ask the magical question. Deep inside, our hearts of been pounding. "When are they going to ask the question? When is someone going to ask the question? You've now unlocked the super secret man soul and we can provide you with the answer you want, how to live happily ever after with the man that will serve you and proffer his utter and complete devotion to you, follow your logic implicitly, read your mind, your own little pussy-whipped man-slave. NO! Wake up! If you want that kind of a relationship, if you want someone who thinks just like you, then start a relationship with a fucking woman. Holy shit! The thought that this many women are stuck in the realm of the obtuse makes me fucking ashamed to be a woman.

Mark said...

Well, that is certainly the strongest reaction I've yet read to his columns.

No, I did not make up any of the questions. All came from women.

Anonymous said...

Are you going to compile the list of questions for us or do we have to go find them all?

Mark said...

For the "catch-up" entries, the ones in which you would answer the same questions as Dr. Efficient, I would supply them in advance. Once you were caught up, I would offer both of you the same questions at the same time, and then run the blog entries in a coin-flip order (with someone other than me flipping the coin).

Steve said...

Perhaps Dr. Efficient needs to be retired to a different blog.

Mark said...

Nah. I enjoy reading them, as do many, if not most readers.

Tiggerz (a Jennie in VB) said...

I'll play. :)

Mark said...

Email me, and we'll work out the details for you to try this.


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