Friday, November 6, 2009

One dead roach

I don't like cockroaches, but I have a certain grudging respect for them, because they are ambitious, cocky, hardcore survivors. Having grown up in Florida, I've seen cockroaches that could bench-press Brock Lesnar while eating stolen steak. Cockroaches are tough and annoying, but they don't freak me out.

Sometimes, though, they go too far.

Like tonight.

I went to grab a bit of toilet paper in my bathroom and noticed that the first sheet wasn't sitting flat. Then, I saw a dark spot on the sheet. Then, the dark spot moved. Yes, a roach had crawled under the top sheet of toilet paper and was making its way slowly forward into the roll.

I was not happy.

The roach is now dead.

The search and destroy process was not pretty.

I leave the rest to your imagination. Or not; not would probably be best.


John Lambshead said...

I used to culture cockroaches in plastic dustbins when I worked in Rentokil Labs. The damn things were always escaping.

Michelle said...

Shudder. Let's just hope his friends heard about this and won't be visiting. At least you discovered his presence before you decided to use that portion of paper. That would not be pretty.

Anonymous said...

omg, ewwww. i would have been so tempted to take the entire roll outside and light it on fire.


Kyle said...

And so it was that the world's first cockroach proctologist met his tragic end...

Mark said...

John, they are indeed persistent.

Mark said...

Michelle, my thoughts exactly.

Mark said...

Lisa, I was. It was, however, late, and I had work to do, so I opted for a more conventional strategy.

Mark said...

Kyle, I can always count on you for a unique perspective.

Ticia said...

Ah the joys of California living. I have never had to deal with cockroaches. Mice, yes (shudder). My suburban life has left me blissfully cockroach free.

Of course, we do have earthquakes. And horrific traffic. And long commutes.

Perhaps smog is kryptonite to the cockroach?

Mark said...

Ticia, I'll take roaches over your commutes anyday.

Ticia said...

::sigh:: My one hour commute was almost two hours last night.

I'm telling you this because the reason for the delay was not a massive accident involving many injuries. It was rain.

Rain, especially the first rains of the year, grind traffic to a halt.

I figured you could all use a good laugh this morning,

Enjoy your day.

Mark said...

I hit a lot of traffic coming home last night, too. Took me almost 19 minutes. Almost.


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