More lessons from my spam

(WARNING: Adult language and topics ahead. Kids, stop reading.)

As I've mentioned before, a flood of spam washes over me daily. I run a spam filter, and it works for the most part, but I still need to scan the spam subject lines lest I accidentally lose a real message related to work.

From this scanning, I've learned a lot. I reviewed some of those lessons in a May post, but new ones arrive all the time. Here are a few of the them.

The IRS is concerned about my under-reported income.

They want me to check their Web site and fix my tax return, sometimes because I'm guilty of fraud, and other times because they might owe me money. I'm glad they're looking out for me.

Montana investment property is available cheaply.

This one makes no attempt to lure me, despite the enticing headline. Instead, it gives me a link to click and ends. Oh, spam-masters, where has the romance gone?

ED drugs are available in soft forms.

This one just feels wrong. Shouldn't those pills be hard?

I can learn exciting Microsoft Office applications for free!

Okay, boring spam is the worst kind of all. This isn't a real ad for learning Word, Excel, or PowerPoint--which would be dull enough. No, they're trolling for suckers with Office. What happened to those Russian women who wanted me only a few months ago?

Many people are concerned with the size of my genitalia.

Ah, it's good to know the classics never die.


Frankly, the quality of my spam has gone down, and I'm a little concerned. If the people out to steal my money and identity won't make a decent effort to lure me into their evil snares, then we are in a dark time indeed.

Spammers, pick up your game!