Wednesday, September 25, 2013

The top five things I hate most about my Tesla Model S

Many folks who have asked me how much I like my new Tesla Model S quickly tire of hearing all the positive things I have to say about this great car.  So, quite a few have asked me what I hate most about it.  I've pondered the question, and I'm going to share the answers with you now.

5. It's not a jet car.

I mean, really.  Popular science magazines of my childhood promised me a jet car, and I want it.  Musk also controls SpaceX, so surely he can work out the details to share technologies between the companies. 

4. No beverage is waiting for me when I sit in it.

Again, is this too much to ask?  I actually have to bring my own water bottle.  A little AI, some communication with a shopping service, maybe a delivery service, and a little reading of weather data ought to be enough to let it have an appropriate drink waiting for me.  Coke Zero or water, by the way.

3. It doesn't shine my shoes while I drive.

Sure, I mostly wear sneakers, but when I'm rocking a pair of leather shoes, would a little polish and buff be too much to ask?  My feet are on the floor, so this shouldn't be difficult. 

2. It's already dirty!

I've owned it only three months, and already the outside is dirty and so is some of the carpet.  Dirt-repellent technology must be on the Tesla drawing boards; I want it now!

And, the number one thing I hate about my Tesla Model S,

1. I can't afford to give one to every single one of my friends.  

I'm convinced that's the only way I can stop them from being (correctly) jealous of me for owning the car.  Sadly, that feat is way, way, way beyond the level of money I will ever have.

P.S. Having said that, if my books ever sold at Harry Potter levels and I had the money of J.K. Rowling, I would have to seriously consider making a lot of my friends very happy indeed.  So, if you want to help my friends, get busy buying those books!

P.P.S. Okay, that's lame, and I feel bad about writing it--but not so bad that I'm going to delete it.


Michelle said...

Hertz just announced they would rent out the Tesla for $500 a day as a rental car option. Now, all your friends can drive a Tesla of their own. It still won't shine your shoes, though.

Mark said...

It needs to get busy on those shoes!

Anonymous said...

I'm doing my part to help, as in buying your books. On a serious note, your writing calls attention to topics like forcing children to be soldiers and the selling of and abuse of children, the reality of many children right now.

Mark said...

Thanks for the support and the kind words.


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