Friday, September 13, 2013

On the road again: IDF, San Francisco, day 4

The conference ended yesterday, as I noted in last night's post, but I still attribute today to it because much of today went to making my way home.  I awoke at oh-dark-thirty, showered, rode with a somewhat crazier than usual cabbie to the airport, and then went to work in the Admirals' Club. 

I didn't consider those early hours to be very good, but they were charming next to the over three hours I spent on the plane.

My seat appeared promising:  exit-row aisle.  As I approached it, though, I saw a fairly large, white-haired businessman sitting in the middle seat, his elbows protruding into the seats on either side of him.  Not a good sign.  As I was preparing to sit, I pointed to his elbow in my space and said, "I need to sit."  He nodded but did not move his elbow.  So, I sat slowly, my ass starting to push his elbow down.  He glanced up, grunted, and pulled it enough out of the way that I could sit.  As soon as I was seated, he pushed his elbow into my side.  I tried pushing back with my body, but he held firm.  So, I reached down and pushed his elbow to the edge of the armrest; I was willing to let him have all of it given that I had the aisle.  He grunted but let it sit there.

For about ten minutes.  He then pushed it back into me.

I pushed it away again.  This time, I said, "Please stop pushing into my body with your elbow." 

He said nothing.

We continued this pattern for the rest of the time we were on the plane. 

I am once again proud that I did not hit him. 

When he got up to use the restroom, he pointedly stepped on my toes as I was trying to get out of his way. 

I said, "That was unnecessary." 

He grunted.

I spotted him coming back and was out of the way this time, so he could not step on my toes again. 

I put my laptop in my backpack and went to the restroom. 

When I returned, I pulled it hard and fast from the backpack into his shin. 

He said the only words he spoke to me the entire time.  "What the--?"

I grunted.  I didn't even try to hide my smile.

Yes, it was entirely petty, but I still felt better for doing it. 

The next leg was bliss by comparison:  an upgrade and non-stop work, with no one bothering me.

Now, I'm home, and that is a very good thing indeed.


Michelle said...

You apparently are an asshat magnet. Maybe that is one of your missions in life. To gather them around you on a plane so the rest of us can fly in peace. Sheesh!

Mark said...

Perhaps you're right. It certainly feels that way sometimes.


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