Would you like a guard with that waffe?
I have an odd affection for Waffle Houses, the little yellow-fronted buildings where you can get a sad breakfast at any hour. I particularly like them at holidays, when their jukeboxes have--or, at least, had in the past--Waffle-house-ized versions of seasonal songs. I like that Bill Hicks picked on them.
Even I, however, will have to think twice about going into any Waffle House with a security surcharge. Yes, the Waffle House in Underground Atlanta is now adding a 20% fee to each customer's visit to help pay for a guard the owners clearly feel is necessary.
Many people are decrying this move, but I see it as an interesting precedent for other potential Waffle House improvements. Add 5%, and the cook won't flick his ashes into your hash browns. For an additional 5%, the waitress won't cough on your food as she carries it. Want today's bread for your toast? Just chuck in another 10%. The possibilities are myriad.
The best part of all of this is that the Waffle House instituted this fee back in mid-December. Let's face it, nothing says "Waffle House Christmas" like a guard and a 20% surcharge for paying him or her.
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