How my brain works

Today, we bopped over to Durham for a food truck rodeo and a stroll around downtown's Durham Art Walk.  It was a lovely day, and I had a fine time looking at bits of art and generally just taking the air. 

On the way back to the car, lost in thought about a piece of art I'd seen a few shops back, I stepped off a curb, failed to note a second, smaller bump in the road, twisted my left ankle, and went down hard.  I've hurt that ankle many times before, so as I twisted it the bone popped briefly out of the joint and then back into it.  Each of those pops sent a jolt of sheer agony from my foot straight to my brain. 

So, I screamed in pain several times and ended up stretched out on the road for a few minutes while my friends stood over me to make sure any approaching car would notice me.  (None came, fortunately.)  After wiggling the foot a bit and testing it, I put a little weight on it, crawled to the curb, sat, and rested for another couple of minutes.  I then got up and slowly and with a bit of limping finished the walk. 

My friends were wise enough not to touch me throughout this process.  The last thing I want is unsolicited help.  I'm of the "crawl into the cave and pull the rock in after me" school of healing.

As I fell and for some time afterward, including now, only one thought has dominated my thinking:

You stupid fucking idiot!

Here I am referring, of course, to myself. 

I'm not sure if everyone thinks that way, but that's how it is in my head.

I'll probably limp tomorrow, though I hope to avoid that. 

What an idiot I am.