What I (re)learned about myself at TEDActive

I've gone to TEDActive four times now, and each time I emerge having learned the same lessons--again.

I want to spend more time creating.

The conference filled me with creative spirit. Books and stories I want to write, films I want to make--all of it bubbled up in me and yelled for more of my time and attention.

I want to do more to improve our business.

Business inspiration hits me often here, and this year was no exception. There is so much we could be doing, and so much we could be doing differently or better. I'd love to get to it!

I suck at socializing.

People seemed to approach one another with ease and often glee. I do well when someone talks to me, but striking up conversations with others is very difficult--though I do fine once I'm past that moment.

I have social tendencies.

I admire the social ease of others, and I hang out on the edges of the crowds for a little time each day, wondering if I might somehow fit in.

I don't belong here.

The energy level and social commitment and creativity of the TEDsters is daunting. So very often, I feel old and slow and as if I have done nothing.

I do belong here.

When I talk to people about PT or my books or the Children No More charity effort, the look in their eyes makes it clear that I do belong--and that some of them are left wondering if they do.

I must lose weight and become fit again.

As you can see, for every other lesson, I find myself torn, on both sides, wanting more than I can find a way to manage. On this lesson, however, there is no other side: If I want to live a long life--and I do--I must drop a ton of weight and become fit again.

The challenge, of course, is to figure out how to do that and everything else I want--and need-to do within days with only twenty-four hours and a life with far more stress than I am handling well right now.

Clearly, I have a lot to do.