Yes, we went there

In a recent post, I mentioned the corntastic porndog. Last night, we held our usual Super Bowl commercials party, in which we fast-forward through the game but watch the commercials. In preparation for it, Jennie and I decided we had to step up to the challenge and make our own corntastic porndogs.

So we did.

The recipe was a bit light on details, but we decided that didn't matter; we were after the spirit of the corntastic porndog, not any particular implementation of it.

We began, of course, by warming up ten hot dogs, frying a pound of bacon, and wrapping the dogs in the bacon. Rather than going with the recipe's single piece of bacon per dog, however, we turned up the amp and wrapped two pieces of bacon around each tube steak. We didn't have toothpicks, but no such simple deficiency was going to derail this gourmet train, so we cut thin wooden skewers into irregular pseudo-picks. They were big and ugly, but they worked.


As you can see from these two photos, the result was two plates of bacon-and-dog goodness. Never mind the pieces of wood protruding everywhere at odd angles; we were confident those would somehow turn from merely weird to oddly endearing.


In parallel, we prepared cornmeal batter. Rather than keep the diced peppers (we went for mild jalapenos) separate, however, we mixed them right into the batter. We were nothing if not efficient!


I'm still not sure if the resulting batter looks good or like something the cat left, but appearance alone was not going to deter us! It was time for the dredging!

Watch the little meaty beasty enter the batter bath.


It looks even better emerging from its soak.


Oh, yeah, that's appetizing.

A few minutes in the fryer, though, and you get this lovely snack.


Admit it: you want one.

Not convinced? Stare upon the pan of all ten and fill the food lust flood your heart!


Sure, they look more like biowaste than food, but that proved to be no problem for the brave eaters at the party; we consumed them all.

In case you're wondering, they tasted pretty good.