Sunday, January 30, 2011

Neck like a leg

In an earlier entry, I recounted my recent suit-purchase expedition. To go with that suit, I also needed a new white dress shirt. For most people, meeting that need is simple: go to the store, and buy the shirt.

Those people have normal-sized necks.

I don't.

I'm a little under 5'9". Most guys my height wear a shirt with about a 15.5-inch neck. I'm significantly heavier than I should be, so it's natural that my neck also be a bit larger than normal, but weight isn't the problem. I just have a huge neck--and always have. How big?

For a shirt collar not to choke me, I need a shirt with a 19.5-inch neck.

As the seamstress (more on her in a minute) observed, I have a neck like a leg.

Buying a dress shirt with a neck this large is easy: you go to the embarrassing "Big" section and order it. The shirts that go with this collar, however, are huge. My new shirt (also from Nordstrom; ref. the earlier post) billowed around me like a circus tent that hadn't been tacked down yet. The sleeves dangled way past my wrists. In rough weather, whole families could have taken refuge under it. In New York City, I could have rented the space as two efficiency apartments.

It was big. Huge, in fact.

No problem; I know a great local tailor shop. I headed there, whereupon the seamstress, who does know me, offered the above observation and suggested, "Next time, you bring a collar you like, and I'll make the shirt." I had considered that option, but it turns out to be dramatically more expensive than having her alter the shirt. Boy, did she have to alter it. She had to shorten it dramatically, take in the body, cut many inches off the sleeves, etc.

The result, though, was a shirt that fits--and, more importantly, fits my needs for the suit.

Neck like a leg.


Michelle said...

At least you aren't naming your neck corntastic porndog.

Mark said...

Nor will I ever.

J. Griffin Barber said...

You could have a pin head, instead...

Mark said...

Very true, and this is better.

Ticia said...

You need something sturdy to hold that big brain steady.


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