Jonah Hex

Yes, I went to see it. Of course, I realize that such an action requires justification. After all, with only 13% positive ratings on Rotten Tomatoes and nearly universally bad reviews, most people are staying far from this stinker. Here's why I went:

* It's a comic book movie, and I'm a sucker for them.

* Steampunk imagery.

* The team from Crank 2 made it, and they're a good kind of crazy.

* I'd heard rumors that they'd managed to cast Megan Fox's lips on their own, without the annoying rest of her.

Well, okay, I hadn't heard such rumors; those were just dreams of mine. Still, I entered the theater with that hope in mind.

After watching the flick, I have to say that it wasn't as bad as most critics say. I've certainly seen worse. The steampunk ship and weaponry were lovely to watch. John Malkovich chewed the scenery with great vigor. Megan Fox was a black hole with lips attached, but that's to be expected.

There were even a few good lines. My favorite came when Hex was staring at the dog that followed him around, a creature that was easily the mangiest animal I've ever seen. As Hex was leaving him and heading toward possible death, he shook his head and said, "I don't even know what to say to you."

We've all had friends like that.

I can't recommend you go to the theater for this, but when it hits the Wally World bargain bin, it's three a.m., you're there hoping to find that desperation bag of Cheetos, and you're so wired you might as well watch something because if you fall asleep the fake cheese you're about to consume might well kill you on the spot, go ahead and pick up Jonah Hex and give it a go.