Monday, March 1, 2010

Scratching my head

WARNING: Adult content ahead. Kids, please stop reading now. (Yeah, I know, but I have to try.)

Two recent email messages have left me scratching my head with that "Huh? Really?" reaction I so often have when I read or see odd things.

The first, which Ticia sent, was a pointer to an article all about vajazzling, which, as the story explains, is "...exactly what it sounds like - bedazzling for your vajayjay." What troubles me about vajazzling is not the practice itself but rather the questions it raises.

For example, what is the proper reaction upon first seeing it? Some obvious candidates include

Wow, your vajayjay is sparkly.
Pretty! May I play with it?
I love your disco ball; are we going dancing?
Did that hurt?
Now I'm going to feel bad showing you my plain old man bush.
I've never seen one of those before.
The possibilities for saying the wrong thing are endless.

The fate of those rhinestones also has to concern everyone involved. Key issues here include
What if they find their way inside?
Can you chip a tooth or cut your tongue on them?
If the vajazzling extends below the curve, might you cut something more sensitive on them?
One cannot help but consider these issues. (Okay, maybe you can help it, but I can't.)

The second message that left me scratching my head came from John, who sent me this link. If all you see are women with guns, look closer. I'll wait.

Yes, it's him: Mr. Creepy Cone has gotten a fresh coat of paint and turned up in a shop serving women with large guns. Again, the questions are what bother me. For example,
is it really a good idea to let MCC near weapons--or people with weapons near MCC?
What is that thing he's holding? I realize it's probably a blackboard for specials, but it could easily be a club.
Is MCC looking at the gun on the woman in the red top, or at her ass?
The world is a very strange place indeed.


J. Griffin Barber said...

How did you neglect to mention that Jennifer Love Hewitt also gets it done?


J. Griffin Barber said...

I can't believe you failed to comment on the fact that Jennifer Love Hewitt does it to her tweeter.


Mark said...

I knew I could count on you, Griffin.

Todd said...

Seems to me there could be some pain and issues if engaged in 'vigorous activity' though (like pretty sand paper) - but let's be honest - women get this done to impress their women friends (in a fashion context).

John Lambshead said...

I knew I would regret following that link......

Mark said...

Todd, I have never talked to anyone who has been vajazzled, so I have no way to speak to their motivation.

Mark said...

Okay, John, I have to ask: Which one did you regret following?

Ticia said...

I just had a horrible thought. The makeup suggests that this may be a Mrs. Creepy Cone.

"It's true you don't see many Creepy Cone women. And, in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they are often mistaken for Creepy Cone men."

-The Lord of the Cones: The Two Scoops

Mark said...

Rana said the same thing. I can only hope you both are wrong, because if you are right, it's possible they might breed. Night of the Creeping Cones!

Ticia said...

Funny that the women are commenting on MCC and not the vajayjaying....

Mark said...

Indeed. Your thoughts on vajazzling?

Ticia said...

While I wouldn't do it myself, I can certainly understand that periodic desire to jazz things up. There's nothing like a little sparkle to brighten your day.

Marjorie said...

I'm sure they'd be happy to pretty up your manbush so you didn't have to feel bad..

Michelle said...

Come on, it could be a conversation piece. As in, "Would you like to see my latest piece of art?" Next would be a coffee table book with various design photos. This could be big!

Mark said...

Marjorie, not long after I posted the entry I realized what I had opened myself to. You were the first to make the kind offer. I will give it all the consideration it merits [g].

Mark said...

Michelle, you may be right. I would definitely buy that book.


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