Why don't you?

Like many writers, I get a fair number of questions that begin with "Why don't you...". Here are some of the more common ones:

Why don't you...

...make a movie out of your books?

...do a comic book series based on your books?

...do a super-high-quality limited edition of your books?

...advertise more?

...try a different style of cover?

...market your books as [anything other than the current marketing thrust]?

The answer to all of these is the same: I don't control any of that stuff. I write the books. My publisher controls the last three on this list, and the first three are in the hands of fate. If someone in Hollywood wants to make a movie, please call; I sure don't have the funds (or the know-how) to do it. Ditto for comic books (though the call would be unlikely to come from Hollywood). And so on.

To be clear, I'd certainly love my books to be in film, comics, and limited editions, but whether any of that happens is out of my hands.

That said, if you really want one of those things to happen, you can help. All you have to do is persuade two friends to buy a copy of Slanted Jack, and get them to persuade two more friends to do the same, and so on, until my book sales exceed the population of the U.S. At that point, I'm pretty sure that comics companies, movie producers, and small-press publishers would look me up.

Hey, you asked.