Do you want to know?

If a bit of information is going to hurt you, really upset you, but you don't need to know it to keep on living, do you want to know? Your partner cheated on you, but it was a long time in the past; do you want to know? Your friend lied to you; do you want to know?

I do. I wish I didn't, but I do. I'd rather have to cope with the truth than not know it, even if the coping is terribly hard.

The trickiest part of knowing, of course, is knowing not just the one thing but also enough related information that you can put the action, comment, or event in its proper context. If someone you love is really hurting and screams something awful at you, did that person mean what he said? The truth is probably, yes, in that moment, he meant it, and maybe he partially means it all the time, but overall, on most days in most moments, he doesn't mean it.

I have friends who very much don't want to know such things, and I respect that position. I often consider it better for their mental health. I just want to know.

What prompted all of this is my obsessing over a review, on which I may perhaps write more tomorrow--or maybe by then I'll have been able to let it go. I'll hope for the latter but expect the former.