I can't dance

Okay, I can dance, in the sense that I can move my arms slightly, shuffle my feet, and generally look like a Night of the Living Dead zombie minus all the grace and poise. I can also execute with moderate mechanical precision the basic box versions of the waltz and the fox trot.

But, really, in any meaningful sense, I can't dance.

Most guys can't either, at least as best I can tell from watching random dance scenes in movies and many real-world dances in a variety of settings.

I don't care enough to take lessons--though lessons gave me the minimal waltz and fox-trot skills I have--but I do regret this inability.

What brought all this to mind was a scene in a movie, Playing By Heart, that we watched on DVD tonight. Ryan Phillippe was rocking out in the middle of a crowd, and I can't for the life of me tell if he was supposed to look like a lousy dancer; I know only that he did. (I quite like this unabashedly sentimental film, by the way, so don't let this one scene turn you away from it.)

I've seen, given, and even own the card that advises one and all to dance like nobody's watching, but I've never quite been able to do that. I suppose that inability, as opposed to my lack of dance skill, has more to do with inhibitions and self-consciousness than my pitiful repetoire of dance skills, but I do believe that if I thought I were a better dancer, I'd be less inhibited.

If you're also a bad dancer, I encourage you to completely ignore my example and dance your heart out every chance you get. Maybe in the process you'll either become a better dancer or simply lose your self-consciousness; either one would be a win.

I even took my own advice when the kids were little. We'd hold House of Dance, put up a strobe light, and dance around the den. They didn't know then what a good dancer looked like, so I like to think that on those manic, laugh-filled evenings, in their eyes I was the dancer I wish I was. I miss House of Dance for that joy, but I don't think I could go back to it, because now I know they'd see me for the bad dancer I am.

Pity.