If you're considering seeing Transformers: The Last Knight,

go see Wonder Woman instead. Even if you've already seen Wonder Woman. Even if you've already seen it twice. I would have had more fun being stuck at work all night handling a crisis.

Kyle found something good to say about the movie: if you compiled a book of still shots from the film's key moments, you would have a very pretty and cool art book.

Unfortunately, no scene lives up to the quality of its still shots. The actors look like they're in pain as they phone in their lines--and with good cause, because more of the lines are groan-worthy than not. The plot is needlessly convoluted and, predictably, devoid of logic and science. Even the emotional arc is a mess, with multiple climaxes and uplifting speeches that fall flatter than a Transformer after having its head cut off. The film's rascism and sexism is unavoidable and offensive.

I could go on and on with the critiques, but there's no point in that.

If you've read this blog for a while, you'll know that I can find the good in any movie, but this film stretched that ability to the breaking point. I wasn't angry at myself for seeing it--Scott was--and I continue to have the goal of seeing all the movies, so in that sense I am glad I went--but only in that sense.

Skip this one and hope that if enough of us stay away, Michael Bay won't get the money to make any more installments in this painful franchise.