Five signs you've been on the road too long

5. You wake up and reach for the remote to catch the morning news.  You don't have a TV in your bedroom.

4. You wonder why the hotel room has painted walls instead of wallpaper.

3. You wake up in the middle of the night, use the bathroom, wash your hands, and while drying them observe that it's odd that the hotel uses the same type of towels you do.

2. You look for your suitcase to put away your dirty clothes and wonder (a) how you failed to notice you'd been upgraded to a room with a walk-in closet and (b) why you have a dirty clothes basket in that closet. 

1. You wake up hungry and look for the phone to order room service.  Yeah, that's not going to happen.