Yes, we ate it

[I'll resume The Animal House Life tomorrow.]

Earlier tonight, we gathered for our annual Super Bowl commercials party, in which we fast-forward through the game but watch the ads. We also eat massive quantities of junk food of all sorts.

Enter the bacon explosion, about which you've probably read in a variety of places online, including in this New York Times article. This first photo shows the loaf of baconly love early in its sojourn in Jennie's oven; she was the one willing to work the over three pounds of meat into the delectable goodie you see here.

Yes, we are indeed talking over three pounds of pork, folks, more than half of that bacon, some in a lattice and some crumbled inside the loaf itself.

We're talking a heart attack in a tube of ex-pig parts.

As Kyle said when I emailed him this photo, "I want!"


As you can see in this second picture, the creation browned up nicely and left us all (well, all of us except the vegetarians) feeling exactly as Kyle did.

Sure, you may be saying, it looks like porkly love on a pan, but how did it taste?

In a word, awesome.

As the third photo shows, the roll is solid with grease-dripping bacon and sausage. You can eat it on its own, as I did, or put it in a buttery roll, as I also did, and chow down on a delicious all-fat-wich.

Yum.

Surely, you say, you can do better than that. Of course I can! After my first fat-wich smacked my arteries, I created a second, but this time with two thick slices of cheese roll on top of the pork.

OMG! If I hadn't been sitting in my chair, I would have fallen over from the sheer impact of the fat on my system. It was amazing--and delicious. Add a few (six is a few, right?) deviled eggs, some chips, a couple (or maybe that's a few, too) wings, a few (couldn't have been more than three, maybe four) pigs in blankets, and top it off with a little (really, the piece barely counted) cheesecake, and you have a meal sure to put a cardiac ward somewhere in my future.

In case you're wondering, the best commercial was the Doritos ad with the crystal ball, though several were quite funny.

The bacon explosion in particular and this meal in general hit me so hard that I reclined in my chair in a stupor and actually watched the entire Super Bowl. It's a good thing the game was exciting, because there was no way I was getting up even if it was a blow-out.

I won't eat a bacon explosion again soon--I couldn't handle it--but someday, it will return to our house.

Let's pray nanomachine artery cleaners arrive before it does.