The Dread visits
Yeah, I'm deep into it on Overthrowing Heaven. The book is moving along, I'm over ninety thousand words into it, and though I couldn't tell you how long it will be, I can see the end somewhere in the distance. I should be perking up. I perked up at this stage on the last two books.
Instead, The Dread is sitting on my head big-time. Each day, I write a chunk, and I know the chunk is what I want it to be (minus the huge amount of editing and polish I still have to do, of course). Despite that knowledge, however, I'm also terrified that I'm writing the worst, most boring turd of a book ever to have existed.
I don't know any way around this feeling, of course. The only path out is straight ahead, to the end of the book, and that's where I'll head, one day's work at a time until I finish this draft--and the next draft, and the next, until the book heads off to publication. Then, I'll treat myself by starting the next book.
Doesn't this make you want to be a writer?
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4 comments:
Amen. I'm having The Fear. I'm starting a new book knowing that I've got 8 months to deliver it -- polished and as perfect as I can make it. Though I'm trying to make myself think of my deadline as "May" and not "8 months." May sounds like I have more time. And I have in the back of my mind that my editor will find "just a few more things" that need to be fixed before the book I just turned in goes into copyediting. So I have that "I hope the changes I made didn't suck" fear in the back of my mind while I'm trying to get this book off the ground.
Oh yeah, the joys of being an author. We're a sick bunch, aren't we? ; )
Oh yeah, self doubt, the constant companion of the writer.
I think everything is a turd until it's done. Of course since I haven't been published yet, maybe it is a turd.
Sigh.
Indeed we are. Good luck on the deadline. You can do it!
Stephanie, I know that feeling when you're trying to get published, but don't give in to it. Keep writing, and the rest will eventually sort itself out.
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