Want a peek inside my head? And a contest

Too bad, because I'm going to give you one anyway.

Last night, I had one of the odder dreams in recent memory. I have no idea what it means, and Dave's always pointing out how much I hold back, so I thought I'd share this one with all of you. Blame Dave.

I'm on a two-lane blacktop in the middle of nowhere. The land on either side of the road is so shrouded in fog that it's invisible. My car, an old fifties model with a huge dash, is broken down. Two African American men, one a few years older than I and the other somewhere north of eighty, help me get moving. I'm in a hurry, excited to be heading wherever it is I'm going.

And them I'm back there again. They help me again.

And then I'm back there yet again. They start to help me, but then the old guy bends over, very slowly and with the obvious stiffness and effort of the very old, and picks up the small black leather vitamin carrier, the small black leather change purse, and the wallet I always carry. He hands them to me and says, "You dropped these."

I smile and say, "Thanks so much."

He then says, "If you don't mind me asking, where are you going in such an all-fire hurry?"

I motion him and the other guy to follow me around to the driver's side of the car, which they do. I open the door and point to a sheet of paper on the dash. We all lean in (don't ask; in the dream we have room) and stare at the sheet of paper. It's about eleven by seventeen inches, thick, printed in the old style of a carnival sheet, with large black type on a faded parchment background. It reads

You must CAPTURE the carpet cow.

The word "CAPTURE" is circled over and over in red ink, something I know I've done.

I point them to that line, they nod in understanding, I nod in happiness that they understand, and then I wake up.

Before you ask, I have no clue what a carpet cow is.

And now, a contest: If at least ten people email me (via my site) an entertaining explanation (serious or silly, I don't care) of this dream, and if they give me permission to post their explanations here, then I'll pick the winning one and mail them an autographed copy of Slanted Jack. I'll also post the others here, either with bylines or anonymously, as the submitter chooses. If we get fewer than ten entries, however, then no one gets the free book.

Fire away!