Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Running away

Don't you sometimes think about running away? I don't mean as a child; I mean now, as a grown-up, with all sorts of responsibilities that you willingly undertook.

I certainly do. Though I have no intention of doing so, to amuse myself I sometimes come up with excuses I could use should I want to vanish for a day or three. As a person committed to helping others, I thought I'd share my current Top 5 with you; feel free to use any of them if you need them.

5. Needed time alone to sort out my feelings. (It's the last on the list because it's the most honest and, therefore, the one nobody would believe.)

4. Fell on the way to my car, hit my neck, and blacked out as I pulled myself into it. Woke up with amnesia and drove around until it passed. I've missed you all so much!

3. Government mind-control experiment. If I tell you anything else, they'll kill me. Got any tin foil?

2. A car pulled up, a man jumped out and put a bag over my head, and then they took me away. When I next could see, I was in a hotel room, where four of them, all wearing masks, used me in horrible sexual ways. No, I won't go into the details. I need a shower.

and the number one excuse for vanishing for a few days...

1. Alien abduction! I can't remember a thing, but my ass sure hurts like hell.


John Lambshead said...

There were many times when I felt like just walking out in the rain, and walking and walking, until I couldn't walk any more.

But, I had responsibilities.

Karen Z said...

Ah, but where would you run away _to_?

Jon said...

I've threatened to run away several times a week for years...generally at quitting time. My favorite runaways involve cigars, books and my back yard. Needless to say, Jon Moore and Lobo have been present on several occasions.

Mark said...

John, I completely understand.

Karen, that would depend a great deal on the duration of the run.

Mark said...

Jon, that seems like a very sensible way to run away. I thank you for including Jon Moore and Lobo in those escapes.

Laura said...

Me, I'd like to run off to the mountains, but Mark Sanford has forever ruined "hiking on the Appalachian Trail" as an excuse.


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