Ten reasons I'll never have a job in the Obama administration
10. If someone asked me a question, I'd actually answer it. This behavior is death in any administration, Obama's or otherwise. Can you imagine me crafting debate responses? No way.
9. My stance on marriage: Not only do I support same-gender marriages, I support poly marriages. Any group of adults that wants to get married should be free to do so. They shouldn't blame me, though, for how it goes.
8. I'd raise gas taxes a buck a gallon to help pay for alternative energy development. We use an unfair amount of the world's gas, and we need to develop other fuel sources, so we should pay for it. I'd give a fuel credit to the poor so this doesn't become an unfair burden on them, but the rest of us would just have to suck it up.
7. I'd ask a Canadian band, Blue Rodeo, to be one of the groups that played at the inauguration.
6. A Federal law mandating the purchase and reading of my novels by every American student would probably be a bit much, but I wouldn't be above suggesting it now and again.
5. The media would find a way to see the contents of my DVD collection, and it would be all over. I mean, who owns both Blonde and Blonder and Poultrygeist? That's gotta be a crime in Mississippi or Alabama.
4. They'd never let me bring porn to the White House.
3. I wouldn't take any job unless I got to choose the White House music at least one day a week. What's the point of working there if you can't DJ the tunes?
2. I'd insist on UFC White House Fight Nights and an octagon in the building.
1. I'd demand that Thomas Keller be White House chef, and they can't afford him.
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7 comments:
When I read the opening of "Slanted Jack", I wondered if "The French Laundry" had inspired aspects of the scene.
You have excellent taste in story ingredients, sir. Thank you.
You might want to reconsider your options. That list sounds like a job description for Chief of Protocol. America did say they wanted change in the White House.
The French Laundry (and some other fine restaurants) definitely inspired that opening. That said, I have a sad confession to make: I've never eaten at either The French Laundry or Per Se. I've never been able to get in. Top among my foodie dreams is one day to eat at the kitchen table in one or both of them, as well as to meet Chef Keller. I am a huge admirer of his.
Anderson Silva Goes to the White House
Hell, yeah!
blue rodeo is awesome, i didn't know they were canadian (not that that makes a difference). fight night, thomas keller, and porn are all great ideas for the white house...
None of those ideas, however, are likely to fly in the Obama (or any other) administration.
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