Fucked up wrestling match I want to see

This insane Russian dude (whom I've covered before) vs. this Goddess-seeking whack job (thank you, Eric, for the link) in a three-falls-for-the-championship match in a fifteen-foot-wide square of creamed corn.

Put that on PPV, and I'm treating!

Guest blog: Don't Panic

(Today's guest blog explores the serious and always fascinating topic of zombies. It comes from Ticia, initially my Balticon 43 handler and now my friend.)

All of my friends are speculating, at great length, about the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse. They all seem to have elaborate plans with escape routes, meeting places, weapons stashes, and phone trees with the important contact numbers listed on speed dial. All know how to spot the undead immediately. They know which weapons will be effective and which will just create more moving parts, which leads this discussion to me.

I have no weapons stash, no elaborate escape routes, and I live in a rambling suburban sub-division where, when the shambling dead come to call, I will be the cheese in a zombie maze. My destiny is to suffer the same fate as every poor nameless red shirted Star Trek Security Officer that dies on an away mission. I am zombie fodder.

I know that if my family were threatened, wading in with my machete and taking care of business would be no problem. Give me motivation, and I can saw and hack away with the best of them. However, as any true Survivalist will tell you, although my heart may be in the right place, my machete puts me too close to the zombie action. The experts say a small-caliber high-capacity semiautomatic rifle, such as an AR-15 would be an ideal weapon choice.

Because knowledge is power, I purchased The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. It reveals that short hair and tight clothes are ideal protection. It also highlights many subjects and problems that have never occurred to me. The debate between weapon weight and accuracy at range is a real eye opener for this novice.

This is a great starting place for anyone who has concerns about how to actually survive a zombie infestation.

Do not accept your fate meekly, go forth and read.

Give those zombies a deader tomorrow.

Yesterday's signing

was both successful and fun. As you can see in this photo, which like all the others here is courtesy of Gina, we even had our own fancy poster in the window. Pretty cool.

We also had a pretty large audience, right around 40 folks, which was also quite cool. Linda and Buck and Butch of the Cary Barnes & Noble did a great job making the event happen, and we owe them a huge thanks. I worked off some of my debt by buying eight books and a magazine as I was scurrying off to dinner.







Here's the whole writer gang, resplendent behind our table and with our store-supplied microphone. In case you don't recognize us, from left to right we are Dave, me, James, and Lisa.






For those who want solo shots, here's Dave


















and Lisa






















and James, all in glorious writerly action.













I, on the other hand, spent most of the panel trying to perfect my imitation of a cat that has just awakened to find its tongue stuck between its lips and a temptingly tasty microphone right in front of its face and in desperate need of licking.

No, I did not lick the microphone; we had to share, so that would have been wrong.

But, as you can see from the look on my face, I did consider it.

Not the signing report; a beg for charity money

As regular readers know, tonight I joined David Drake, James Maxey, and Lisa Shearin at a signing at the Cary Barnes & Noble. I'll talk about the signing--and maybe have some pictures from Gina--tomorrow night.

Tonight, though, I want to talk about something James is doing and ask you to help by giving some money. I don't do this often, and I'm not entirely sure what moved me to do it tonight, but so it goes.

In the interest of full disclosure, I barely know James. We've met at two signings, maybe one or two other times, and that's about it. I also know there are a zillion worthy charities. I'm asking tonight, I guess, because I think what James is doing is kinda cool, and because I have a personal tie with the charity.

In another of James' blogs, if you scroll down a bit, you can find an entry from yesterday entitled "Books for Breasts." Basically, James is offering free signed copies--really free, including postage--of his latest book, Dragonseed, to anyone who donates any amount, however small, to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. His blog entry will give his reasons for doing this. I'm doing it because, as I said, it's a cool idea, and because my mother lost both breasts in two separate rounds of breast cancer.

All you have to do is follow this link to his personal page on the Komen foundation site, donate any amount, and he'll send you a link. If you're broke and need something to read, drop in a buck, and get a new paperback; what a deal. A used book would set you back the same amount.

James set his original goal at $300 and then raised it to a grand. When I went over there a few minutes ago, the total was $565. I made it $665, and I'm looking forward to my book.

Tomorrow, as I noted, I'll get back to the signing.

Come to the Cary Barnes & Noble Tuesday night!

The awesomeness starts at 7:00.

Don't come just for me.

Come to see David Drake, Lisa Shearin, and James Maxey.

Come to get books signed, participate in a discussion of the mating rituals of rabid weasels, ask questions and receive answers, buy books, laugh a lot, buy books, and hang where all the cool kids are.

See you there!

Today's guest blogger: Sarah

Apparently it’s time for a Sarah guest blog. I am sitting in our living room right now for my mother’s birthday party (Happy Birthday, Mom!), and we’re talking about how some people love computers and some people love cutting down trees. I would say I’m the former. I got a new MacBook Pro for college and am really excited. It’s on the last red bar of battery now and there’s an hour and nineteen minutes left. What? How can that possibly be?

My iTunes remain on the old computer, so I don’t have all my music, but I’ll still make some recommendations:

Kate Voegele, “Wish You Were”

Badly Drawn Boy, “Time of Times”

Regina Spektor, “Dance Anthem of the 80s”

The Rosebuds, “Shake Our Tree”

Catch the Rabbit, “Senses”

Old Crow Medicine Show, “Wagon Wheel”

Angelique Kidjo, “N’Yin Wan Nou We”

Sorry for having no links to the Rosebuds or Angelique Kidjo songs! They’re worth listening to even if you have to go and pay $1.98 for them on iTunes. You can find “Shake Our Tree” by searching it on Project Playlist; “N’Yin Wan Nou We” is harder to find, but one of the most beautiful songs I’ve heard in a while.

This is a really nice summer. I might make strawberry pie tomorrow. Also tomorrow, my dad (the one you probably expected to be reading right now) has a signing at the Cary Barnes & Noble that you should go to, if you’re around! Other neat people will be there, too.

A side note: I heard “Mmbop” on the top 40 station today.

Another side note: I’m finishing this blog a couple hours later than I started it. My mom is now done opening gifts, and there is a gigantic blue beach tent sitting in our library. There have been multiple teams of people assigned to closing said beach tent. No success yet. Never a dull day.

Seriously though, go look at Dr. Tongues again. Then say it. Dr. Tongues. You’ll just laugh.

Best Father's Day card ever

It's from my amazingly awesome Sarah and Scott, of course, and a quick glance at these scans will prove my point.

This is the cover of the handmade-by-local-artisans (again, Scott and Sarah) masterpiece. I'm completely confident that the misspelling of "apocalypse" is an intentional in-joke related to the fact that the card involves brainless zombies. That clearly has to be the reason.

I also have to apologize to you now about the in-jokes I haven't explained (and might never explain). Those sorts of things happen, and there's simply nothing anyone can do about them.

I will say that Oscar and Tilly are the household froglets, and they are well and truly indestructible, particularly Oscar, who has survived five days in the house in an ice storm with no heat or food, as well as almost a week in the house in a hot September with no AC and no food. He is super-froglet; zombies fear him.






















You'll note that the list does not mention any people (other than me at position of honor 100). That's because, as the above two-page spread shows, the kids correctly assume I will save them, our family, and our extended family.

Finally, in true storyteller fashion, Sarah and Scott made the back cover add tension and pressure to the card's tale, with the always attractive Dr. Tongues on the way--and about him, we shall say no more.

Did I mention my kids were awesome?