The beach movie report, 2017

With three weeks in the beach house, we were, of course, able to take in more movies than usual.  We also watched multiple UFC events, so the area with the big TV was a hopping place.

As you can tell from this photo, we watched films of every sort.

Click the image to see a larger version.

These films are in no particular order.

The one box that glare obscures is season one of Killjoys.  We made it through all of that season and half of the second (box for it in the lower right).

As you can tell from our consumption of 15 TV episodes and 34 movies, we clearly devoted a noticeable part of our evenings to viewing.  That's a tradition I'm happy with.

The most surprising film of the batch is War On Everyone, which is foul-mouthed, politically incorrect, extremely violent, and ultimately both hard to predict and laugh-out-loud funny.  If you have the right sense of humor, I recommend it highly--but don't blame me if it offends you.

I could happily watch two movies a day most days, given the chance.

On Chinese food and movies at the beach

Last night, we opted to keep dinner simple and go for some take-out from the local Chinese restaurant.  We'd eaten completely serviceable food from them in the past.

We were not quite as lucky this time; some dishes were fine, but others were not at all good.  My beef lo mein arrived in a little box and was sticky enough to retain its shape without the box.

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The stickiness affected its flavor, with the sauce overpowering everything else.  Beef lo mein also should not behave like quick-set concrete.

As has become a tradition, I'm wrapping up the beach reporting with a happy snap of all the movies we watched on Blu-ray discs and/or DVDs.

A quick glance should make clear that we watched some cult classics, some recent movies, and a variety of older flicks.

To me, the winner of the Most Surprisingly Good Award of this year's trip is the disc alone on the left, Mr. Right.  Don't look it up, and don't try to learn more about it; just rent or buy it, and then watch it.  Give it 20 minutes to earn your love.  I found it a wonderfully charming film.  I hope you do, too.

Beach movies, 2015

As has become tradition, I've photographed all 21 of the movies we watched on DVD/Blu-ray while at the beach.  (We normally catch more films, but we also watched three UFC events while there.)

Click the image to see a larger version.

The list tends toward action, because Kyle and I are the only ones who stay up for every movie.  We also include whenever possible the rituals of watching Steven Seagal lumber through an action film and getting in the cage with Nicolas Cage.

The award for slowest film of the trip goes to Only Lovers Left Alive, which despite the mesmerizing Tilda Swinton was so amazingly slow that we worried we might be witnessing a vampire-oriented remake of The Assassination of Jesse James by please kill me now I can't watch this movie any longer.

The best entry in the group was also the most surprising:  The Voices.  Ryan Reynolds is magnificent in it, and director Marjane Satrapi does such a fine job that we were all hoping someone would soon give her a bigger budget.  Do not look up information about this movie; just buy it, watch it, and be prepared to be amazed.  (If you are squeamish, or if you don't like dark comedies, ignore that advice, and skip it.)

Next year, I hope we watch even more movies!

Beach movies 2013

Long-time readers will recall that we watch a lot of movies at the beach, usually two a day.  The early show is, in theory, a more accessible film, while the late show tends toward more violent, action-oriented flicks.  This year, we crammed 27 films into the days at the beach.  For those interested, here's a photo of the covers of all the DVDs.

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Please forgive the bedspread backdrop.

To call this a mixed bag of movies is rather an understatement.  Only Kyle and I viewed them all, though Scott caught nearly all of them with us.

Wow, I really will watch anything.  

Don't watch

the movie Dead Hooker In a Trunk.  Though it racked up some favorable reviews, and despite the fact that American Mary, the second film by the Soska sisters, the twins who created this one, was a strange and disturbing piece of work, Dead Hooker In a Trunk tonight grabbed the title of Worst Movie Ever At the Beach.  Given all that we've watched over the years, that is some accomplishment.  It drove everyone except Kyle and me from the room, and we stayed only out of sheer determination to see every movie to its end.

Instead, try looking at something much prettier, such as this photo, courtesy of Gina, of sunrise at the beach.

Click an image to see a larger version.

I can't imagine getting up early enough to see a sunrise here, but it is lovely.  

For those tracking the progress of the Bobcake, we have now cracked past the halfway mark. 

It is mighty, but we are many, and we are determined.  (Well, some of us are.  I must confess to having no Bobcake today; I was just too full from other yummy food.)

Today's two miles passed largely in a light rain, an interesting and reasonably pleasant way to take a walk.

Ah, life at the beach is so easy.

Late-show beach movies

Saturday, we head out for our annual family beach vacation.  As long-time readers know, we watch a lot of movies at the beach.  Some of them, those in the first show each evening, are generally good or at least interesting films. 

The late show, though, is a different story entirely.  For it, we pick action flicks, kung-fu sagas, weird Asian films, and so on. 

A few folks have asked me how we choose which movies to take for the late show.  Though there's no simple formula, I can tell you that one way to build your own high-class, beach, second-show collection is to concentrate on the oeuvre of three fine actors:

Nicolas "Melty Face" Cage

Dolph "Droopy Face" Lundgren

Steven "Maximum Fatness" Seagal

Yes, we have movies from all of them in this year's early selection. 

Beach movies

Last year, I posted a photo of all the movies we watched at the beach. So many people wrote me about it that I decided to do it again this year.

I must note up front that our tastes are varied and that this year we particularly indulged Kyle's and my taste for violent, odd films.

(As always, click on the image to see a larger one.)
On the other hand, we did watch Burlesque (and, no, neither of us chose it).

Watch at your own risk; I make no claims as to the goodness of any of them.

I will tell you that the two Hector Echavarria films are amazingly bad and do not contain anywhere near enough nudity. Despite that, I think Kyle, Scott, and I have seen almost all of his films. Go figger.

Yes, we watched them all

The beach is, after all, not just for swimming and eating too much and relaxing. It's also for watching many hours of good--and bad--movies. In our case, the bad definitely might well have outnumbered the good, but in our defense all of the bad sounded promising, and a few actually proved to be real gems.

The one clear winner of the bunch was Twilight, which by at least my vote and Kyle's almost universal acclaim won the award for the single worst film we watched. Even Dolph Lundgren in the extremely bad Retrograde was better than the Twilight leads, though that was a close contest.

For those who like zombie movies, definitely catch Tokyo Zombie. It's not exactly a good film, but it's a great bad movie. For maximum comedic effect, watch it with both English dubbing and subtitles; the contrast between the two is often hilarious.