I'll be at Illogicon this weekend

Yes, it's time again for Raleigh's own Illogicon, which is at the same Embassy Suites as last year.  I will be a minor guest there again.  I'm currently scheduled for two panels.

Friday, January 9, at 5:00 p.m., I'll be joining four other panelists to discuss "On the Shoulders of Giants: Essential Sci-Fi and Fantasy Reading."  I'm not saying that any of us will climb on each other's shoulders, nor that we will form a small pyramid from which we will rain down literary lightning on the audience--but you never know what might happen. 

Saturday at 3:00 p.m., I'll again be joining four other folks to talk about "Mechanics of Magic and Sci-Fi."  Whether we actually have to repair old cars using only SF and fantasy novels, or if we must wrestle actual working automotive mechanics, remains to be seen, but I'm sure the discussion will be entertaining.

If you're an SF/F fan and in the area, check out the con, come by, and say hi.

And the winds blew

The panel on ethics in SF was proceeding nicely at illogicon iii earlier today. Moderator Metricula and panelists John Kessel, Jim Minz, Liz Woods, and I were ranging far and wide in our discussion of the topic, and the audience seemed to be engaged and enjoying the conversation. 

Then all the phones in the room went off, most buzzing, a few playing their ring tones.  All carried variations of the same message:  Tornado warning.  Severe storms were churning up our area as a front passed through.

No problem; just a warning.  We finished the panel, and all was well.

I moved immediately to my next panel, an in-con recording of the Baen Free Radio Hour.  Show host Tony Daniel had invited John Kessel, Jim Minz, Gray Rinehart, and me to discuss the future of the book.  By now the wind was whipping the trees and blowing the rain sideways.

All the phones went off again.  This time, though, the messages they carried all contained the same instructions:  Take cover.  The hotel had already spread through the con its instructions for safe (or, at least, as safe as possible) passage during tornadoes, which were basically to head to the ballroom, a large space with no exterior walls. 

So some of us did.  Most of the con did not.  Those of us who did enter that room sat there until the warning was over about ten minutes later.

The show resumed.  We did the podcast, which you should sometime soon be able to access via the link above.  I enjoyed the conversation, which was as wide-ranging as the first one.

As I was getting ready to leave the con, I ran into Steve, who said, "I hope your house is okay."  I had no idea why it wouldn't be, but Steve had heard that 85-mph (that's not a typo; eighty-five mile-per-hour) winds had knocked down a tree at the closest exit on I-540 to our house. 

The house proved to be fine.  Branches were down, but nothing particularly large.  Cone Man had fallen,

Click on the image to see a larger version.

but Allyn had already returned him to his standard standing pose. 

So, the winds blew, they blew really hard and really fast, but we're all fine.  For which I'm grateful. 

Lies with Words

is the title of the panel I did earlier tonight at illogiCon iii.  Lawrence Schoen, one of the con's guests of honor, hosted and ran the panel.  He did a great job.  Bill Ferris, Gray Rinehart, Ed Schubert, and Michael Williams were the other victims panelists. 

The concept was simple:  In a series of rounds, Lawrence handed us each a card with an obscure word on it.  In each round, he gave us all the same word.  One of the cards had the real definition on it.  The others were blank except for the word.  We made up and wrote on our cards definitions for each word, and then we read aloud our definitions.  The person with the card with the correct definition had to read that definition as if he'd written it.  After we'd all read our definitions, Lawrence took a vote of how many people in the audience believed each of us to be telling the word's real meaning.  We each got one point for each audience member who believed us.  At the end, Lawrence and a volunteer scorekeeper, Liz (sorry for not getting her last name), tallied the votes and declared a winner.

As you might imagine, many of the definitions we invented were funny, as were some of the real meanings.  Being funny proved to be irresistible to many of us with many words, even though it cost us points.

When the panel ended and the final votes appeared, Ed Schubert and I were vying for first place.  As Lawrence announced who would be the runner-up and who would be this year's winner, Ed and I held hands beauty-contestant-style.  When Lawrence announced Ed as the runner-up, we both shrieked and hugged, and then Ed put the crown--a large rubber band that happened to be sitting on a nearby table--on my head.

It was all very touching.

No, there are no photos and no videos of this particular pageant.

The panelists are given a list of obscure and/or obsolete words in advance. One person has the true meaning and the others compose false definition of each words, long or short, simple or complex, as they please. Can the audience tell which is which? Points are Awarded to each panelist for every audience member who buys into his/her lie. - See more at: http://www.lawrencemschoen.com/#sthash.NgguAXjI.dpuf

The panelists are given a list of obscure and/or obsolete words in advance. One person has the true meaning and the others compose false definition of each words, long or short, simple or complex, as they please. Can the audience tell which is which? Points are Awarded to each panelist for every audience member who buys into his/her lie. - See more at: http://www.lawrencemschoen.com/#sthash.NgguAXjI.dpuf

If you're not already busy next weekend...

...you should swing by the Embassy Suites just off Harrison Boulevard in Cary and check out illogicon iii, this year's installment of a fun little local convention.  In addition to guests of honor Mary Robinette Kowal and Lawrence M. Schoen, the con will feature panels and discussions with a bunch of local and nearly folks, including yours truly. 

I'll post more about my schedule as the con finalizes it, but for now it looks like I'll be there at least a bit on Friday night and during the day on Saturday.

The folks who run illogicon, like those who run other SF cons, are unpaid volunteers who are helping keep the SF community going.  Help them out by buying a membership, participating, and making the con a success.

Illogicon, day 3

My 10:00 a.m. wake-up time (for an 11:00 a.m. panel) came way too quickly after a 6:15 a.m. bedtime.  Did I mention that I hate doing panels before noon?

The topic for the panel was very broad:  ebooks.  In the course of an hour, our group touched on all the major sub-topics, though, and the audience seemed happy, so it went well.

I stayed in the room for the next panel, one I'd found particularly interesting:  The Books That Changed Our Lives.  We panelists took turns discussing various books, the audience threw in a few questions, and it went well.  Here, courtesy of Gina, is a photo of our group just before the panel started.

As always, click on a photo for a larger version.

A group of us then dashed out for lunch at what looked like a promising Cuban place, The Havana Grill.  I'm sorry to have to report that the food was decidedly meh, just good enough that I ate most of it, but just bad enough that nothing was as good as I'd hoped.

I rested for a bit afterward and caught up on some work until it was time to head back for the 6:00 p.m. Closing Ceremonies, which were short and pleasant.  Final attendance was 350 people, so the con grew throughout the weekend. 

Before the Closing Ceremonies presentation was to start, Tim Powers commented that it was a shame that a nearby light saber wasn't more rugged.  The owner claimed it was and proved that assertion by banging it against the floor.  Tim said it was a shame they didn't have two, so they could fence.  I then learned that the other guy, whose name I did not catch, had learned to sword-fight SCA-style, and that Tim had fenced in college and continued fencing classes for 16 years afterward.

As soon as the panel ended, the other fellow dashed out of the room and returned a moment later with a second light saber.

Which is how we came to this picture, as Tim is deciding whether to have a short fencing match while wearing his leather jacket.

After a few experimental thrusts, Tim decided that the jacket was restricting his movement, so he took it off.

A short match to three points ensued.

Tim lost the first point by dropping his light saber.  He won the next two by striking the other guy's saber hand.  Here he is in mid attack.

So, the con closed on a bang, all in attendance had fun watching, and Tim showed that he still had a little of that old fencing magic.

More cons should end with fencing matches.

Illogicon, day 2

The con started too damn early for me today with a 10:00 a.m. panel on Finance for Beginning Writers.  The audience was initially quite small, half a dozen or so folks, but it tripled in the first 15 minutes as more people wandered into the room.  We discussed many different aspects of the money side of writing, from what to expect (not much money), to whether to quit your day job (most of us said no, but some argued it could be an effective way to focus), to how to manage the little bit of money you do make (pay your taxes!).  It went well, and everyone in attendance seemed happy at its end.

After a short nap in the car and a small burrito at a nearby Moe's, I returned to the con for a 1:00 p.m. panel on Science Fiction and Ethics.  The discussion ranged over a broad variety of related topics, and though all the panelists had strong feelings on many topics, we managed to successfully avoid much conflict.  I enjoyed this topic and could easily have kept discussing it for another hour.  The audience, which was a pretty good size, seemed to feel the same way, which was great.

During the next hour, I learned a couple of con-related, interesting things. 

First was that our local paper, the News & Observer, had run an article on the con.  The piece even quoted me, which I suppose is good, though more context would have been nice.

Then, Ticia texted me a picture from the con folks about a sketch that Tim Powers had done and then donated to the charity auction.

As always, click on an image to see a larger version. 

I think the sketch is very cool, and I didn't want to miss a chance to own one of Powers' drawings, so I changed my evening plans so I could attend the auction. 

After a little wandering and some rest in a quiet corner, I showed up for my 3:00 p.m. signing.  As is usually the case, I signed only a few books, talked to some friends who wandered by, and dreamed of being one of those writers whose signing line stretches around the block.  As these thoughts took their toll on my mood, I started marking up the signing announcement sheet.  Bored with that, I wrote a short, depressing story in lines wrapping around the page.

I planned to leave it there, but Jennie and Glennis spotted it, and Jennie snapped it up.  That proved to be a good thing, because a little while later one of the con folks said they had heard about it and asked if I would donate it to the charity auction.  I said, sure, and Jennie gave it to them.

If you blow it up and turn your head (or print it and turn it), you can read the few sentences of this bit of bleakness.

I then scooted off to the Baen Traveling Road Show, where I spoke about my books and my upcoming (and still not done) Heinlein afterword.  I also just enjoyed the show and the chance to learn about the upcoming Baen books.

Though I would normally have gone home at that point, I waited around until the charity auction began.  I learned there that somehow they had lost the sheet with the story, so it couldn't go up for auction.  I hope someone has it and enjoys it.

I asked if they would auction the Powers sketch early, and they agreed reluctantly but nicely to do so. 

It was the third item up. 

The auctioneer opened the bidding at ten bucks, and I sat silently as a few different folks bid it to $17.

"Twenty-five," I said.

The room grew a bit quieter.  A voice behind me said, "Twenty-six."

"Fifty," I said.

"I think I heard a 'comma, bitch,'" the auctioneer said.

A voice behind me, quieter this time, said, "Fifty-five."

"One hundred," I said.

No one in the room made a sound.  "Well, I suspect that's that," the auctioneer said, and it was.

I plead guilty to having to leave early, paid for the piece, and headed out to dinner.

Illogicon II, day one

I hit the con at a quarter to three, which gave me 15 minutes to pick up my badge and materials and set up for opening ceremonies.  That was tighter than I'd hoped, but I had trouble escaping from the work that was piling up even as I drove to the hotel.

Fortunately, one of the folks at the registration table recognized me, they were reasonably well organized, and so in only a few minutes I was set. 

Most of the guests couldn't make it for such an early opening, but Writer Guest of Honor Tim Powers had arrived the night before.  He and I sat behind the table at the front of the room and kicked off the event more or less on time. 

I talked a bit about Tim's fiction, which I love, and introduced him.  After he spoke for a few minutes, we were out of planned material--and the audience of maybe two dozen folks was still sitting there, expecting more.  Fair enough; we'd promised them an hour.

When no one asked a question, Tim and I proceeded to talk back and forth in a sort of barely organized stream-of-consciousness discussion that ended up focusing on life as a writer, particularly the annoying bits.  We discussed how much fun it was to be told that no bookstore had your books, or to be asked why you didn't write a bestseller.  Members of the audience asked a few questions, we answered, and before I knew it, we were done.  I think it went well, and getting to spend a little time talking with Tim, even in front of a group, was a treat.

I hightailed it from there to a nearby cafe that offers free Wi-Fi and worked madly to catch up on the tasks that had hit me while I was at the con.  Though I didn't eat anything and bought only a soda, I feel obliged to note that the food at the Cafe Carolina is decent, and the bandwidth was very good. 

A few minutes before six, I rushed back to the hotel for my reading.  I had expected no one to show, but about half a dozen folks did--though I knew all of them at least via email.  I tried to talk them into letting me off the hook, but they weren't having any of it.  So, I let them pick what I'd read:

1. "Lobo, Actually," which is in the recent Cosmic Christmas anthology
2. "The Strangest Thing," a non-genre, Southern story I've never read aloud
3. A few odd and action scenes from Fatal Circle, the thriller on the shelf that I plan to finish one day and from which I have only ever read the first page--and that only once

They chose number 3, so they got to hear quite a few pages of material no one has ever heard.  I did not throw bon-bons, but that's only because I didn't have any at hand.

I ended up on a quick work call after the reading.  Right after that, I learned the two booksellers wanted me to do a signing the next day, so of course I said, "Yes!"  I love booksellers!  We worked out the schedule, and then I spent some time talking with those booksellers.

Next up and last on my schedule for today was the Liars' Panel, which we did to amuse the audience and raise money for charity.  Sadly, the audience was quite small, though the people in it were great.  Still, we all answered outrageous questions, mostly told the truth but sometimes lied, and raised about two hundred bucks for Hopeline, the con's charity.

By this point, it was definitely time for dinner.  A small group of us dashed to BurgerFi, the first local franchise of this small chain, for tasty organic burgers and hot dogs, as well as sticky cheese fries.  It wasn't at all healthy, but it was good. 

From there, I headed home to work, which I did until now (five in the morning). 

In four hours, I have to get up for day two of the con.  No one should schedule me on a 10:00 a.m. panel!

More about the con tomorrow night.

Come see me at Illogicon II in Cary this weekend

This coming weekend, starting January 11, a new local SF convention, Illogicon II, will materialize for three days in the Embassy Suites Raleigh-Durham/Research Triangle.  I was out of town during last year's version 1.0 of this con and so missed it, but this year I'm not only going, I'm the Toastmaster.  So, as you might expect, they're keeping me busy.  If you get a chance to attend, please buy a membership, then come by and say hi.  You'll be able to catch me at all of the following events, as well, of course, in the hallways and maybe the bar.

Friday, 3:00 p.m.: Opening Ceremonies, Smith room

At this first event of the con, I'll introduce the other guests and join them in kicking off the con.  I may tell a few jokes, do a dramatic reading, or enlist audience members to carry me around the room while I toss bon-bons to the crowd.  You won't know unless you show up. 

Friday, 6:00 p.m.:  Reading, Crescent room

Scenario one: I sit alone in a room, sipping a glass of Coke Zero and staring forlornly at the rows of empty seats until I can't take it any longer, reach into my bag, pull out a lovely Retro 51 pen, use it to saw open my veins, and bleed out alone in authorial sadness.

Scenario two:  A huge crowd fills the room, cheers me on as I read a piece of fiction I've never publicly read before, the crowd goes crazy, and they carry me from the room in triumph as I toss the last of my bon-bons to the worshipful onlookers. 

You have the power to make either one happen. 

Friday, 8:00 p.m.:  The Liars' Panel, Reynolds room

Three fellow authors and I will answer ten questions of my choosing.  Seven of each of our answers will be the truth; three will be lies.  You can challenge us--call us liars to our faces!--but it'll cost you a buck.  Each of you who wants to challenge has to pay that buck; no sharing the challenges.  If you're right, if we're lying, we'll put ten bucks in a basket.  If you're wrong and we're telling the truth, all of your dollar bills will go into the basket.  When the panel ends, the money goes to Hopeline, a local crisis helpline, so in addition to having a good time laughing at our weird answers, you'll also be doing good.

I've done this panel at multiple other cons, and it can be a great time.  Bring some money, come prepared to laugh, and we'll have a blast.

Saturday, 10:00 a.m.:  Finance for Beginning Writers, Smith

Saturday morning two hours before I even consider getting out of bed.  The truth about money in publishing and how to handle the meager scraps you'll earn--if you're lucky.

Come learn the truth from our expert panel, which I'll be moderating.

Wrap your dreams in armor before you enter the room. 

Saturday, 1:00 p.m.:  Science Fiction and Ethics, Smith

Is the fact that a situation makes good fiction enough of a reason to use it in a story or novel?  Can we go too far in our fiction, or let our characters make decisions too easily?  We'll talk about how authors draw their fictional lines in the sand. 

Saturday, 3:30 p.m.:  Baen Traveling Road Show, Smith

Folks from Baen will show you pictures of the art and covers for upcoming books, give away free books, and generally amuse you.  I'm not a formal part of the presentation, but if the presentation runs in its usual way, they'll ask me to speak at some point. This is definitely a fun one to catch.
Sunday, 11:00 a.m.:  Ebooks, Smith

You've seen 'em and probably own some.  We'll talk about where they're going and how they're likely to affect writers, publishers, and readers. 

Sunday, noon:  The Books That Changed Our Lives, Smith

We all have some, those special volumes that made us want to write, or that cemented our love of science fiction, or simply that stuck with us for years and years. Come talk with us about those books that earned special places in our hearts and minds.

Sunday, 6:00 p.m.:  Closing Ceremonies, Smith

I'll lead the closing of the con and, if the Illogicon folks have replenished my bon-bon stash, do a final lap around the hotel on the backs of fans, throwing out those chocolate treats to the assembled masses.

Or, we'll just say good-bye.

It could go either way. 


You can read more about all of these events on the con's programming page.

I hope to see you at the con!